LALALALA.

2012-01-31T10:33:00.002+08:00

Back to work today. Took a day of medical leave yester. Wasnt feeling good and also feeling extremely tired. Weekends was more likely staying home to rest for the day but head out at night. I need to restrict myself for the nights as i'm getting insufficient sleep the next day.

Last friday was an impromtu decision to head z&p with pp. Such a coincidence, i met jarrel again. A huge joke of himself. Not to elaborate it. I dont know why i dont really enjoyed myself that day prolly because of the crowds or whatever. Sat night met up with j,l & k. Went bai nian at night at jj's house and last minute getting oranges. Afterwhich chilling at airport guiding l with accts. Homed at 4am! Straight 2 days i'm homed at this hour. Sun was nothing unusual and went tuition and back home. Last minute night out guiding l. Homed at 2 plus am. Phew! That kinda explain why i took leave the next day.

Today marks the end of january. And it's cny day 9. Time passes by fast. Like i mentioned before, i simply love cny day 1 all the time. Except for this year, a lil pissed with one thing. But overall is fine. To think of it, 7 months has passed. I ever dreamt of having a partner who is a police and all. Damn mindset of mine. And here comes one, and i realised there wasnt much time from him. I'm aint sure is he busy everyday or. I dont know. My heart couldnt set firm. I still couldnt get over the him. I mean i'm just confused. Im afraid, im lack of confidence and all this. Perhaps i really in need of alot of time. I couldnt get to sleep last night, feeling vexed. Its too fast i guess. Dear lord, please do guide me along. Hold my hands and held me in your arms and tell your dear child here what should i do, what should i choose, i dont wanna get heartbroken wasting time on the wrong one. I kept reminding myself time will come time will heal mi time will make me eventually forget certain stuffs. Will it happen?

2012-01-26T10:27:00.002+08:00

Gong Xi Fa Cai!

It've been a long weekend. 6 days away from work, not that bad. But best if i get my arse back to work only like monday i'd shout it out loud SHIOK max! Haha.

Saturday woke up early and left the house early to collect my pp tarts at tjp. Afterwhich off to clarkequay to remove my gelishnails. Know what the best, i forgot to bring the damn small piece of paper which by right i dont have to even pay anything to remove. Okay fine, i paid another 30bucks! :( And had my lunch alone at seoulyummy. Glassnoodles! :) And off to town myself for cny shopping. Everywhere is packed. Dindin with the boys at night at ajisen! Slurrppp! :)

Sunday i woke up early again! Hehe. Off to town to get my bangle bow to be tighten. And an hour of shopping! Haha. Feels good this time when the quene to the fitting room is fast! Muhaha! And did my gelish nails! Worst it's way exp! $1XX.XX for gelish mani & pedi! Oh well festive seasons and there goes the high surcharge! :( Reunion dindin started at 7pm! Best soup of all time fav! Yummy!

Cny day 1 woken up early and rotted there watching tv. Hungry man equals to an angry man! I had my first meal of the day at like 5ish? Oh well but mommy specially asked auntie to cook my fav 'bai guo' for mi to eat! :) Woke up seeing mommy preparing the ingredients to bring over to grandma's house to cook! Thanks so much with love! :) And as usual gugu's house at night for steamyboat! And my wedge boots were killing mi with blisters!

Daddykin & Mommykin.

Pink Lipstick, like a goldfish face.

Cousins.

Cny day 2 was spending at home. Mommy cooked dindin for us! I always love my mom's cooking. Hehe! Cny day 3 - Lunch with daddykin and mommykin at seafood resturant! Wow, the fish head curry was the most thumbs up and also my favourite mushroom veges! Slurrp slurrp! Haha! Worth it. A lil secret, i had 2 bowls of rice! Hehe! This festive season i seriously put on weight again! Hehe.

And worst is i'm back to reality back to work today! :( Which i am feeling so unreluctant to and i'm thinking did i hear wrongly my boss was saying chu 4 back to work or chu 10? HAHAHAHA!

Ever thought of how to forget someone literally? I dont know how to describe at times. Some nights i could hardly fall to sleep easily. Thoughts were pretty heavy. Last night i was feeling tired but i couldnt get to sleep easily at all. Some random thoughts of you filled my mind. I may missed those times with you. I may blame myself for not being good enough to your expectations. But i believed i really gave in alot and did alot of things for you. But you just couldnt get to see it or i'd say you dont bother to take a look. I know that i fallen deep but i've been trying all ways to crawl back to square one. Coming to the 7th month. We were still silent not knowing how've you been and all. All i can do is taking a sneek peek at your small little photo of you which you and me like it alot. Time flies, everything changed. I still wish you are good.

2012-01-13T09:46:00.001+08:00

TGIF the 13th.

Lately i've been addicted to this song from twilight - Vanilla. Listening to it just makes me feel kinda good and bit of what is down in my heart. Replay and replay ...

Anyway was back to school yester. Maybe the start is bit of easy and also boring, but i know still got more difficult parts coming up and it may be more easier. Pray hard i shall not skip any of the lesson. Basically, for jan & feb it'd be good though, lessons only on monday. For march it'll be back to 2 days a week. Whole of this module ends in end of march. And exams, oh gosh!

1 more week more to cny. Thank god lesson only falls on monday which means i can have enough time to prepare my stuffs before cny. After a long pestering, my mom finally told me our reunion dindin will be eaten at home. By right it was supposed to eat outside but she claimed it's way exp so dont wanna us to pay such a sum. Oh well. Anyway i more of wanting her to cook too. I simply cant descibe how good her steamboat soup is. Seriously she could overnight boil the soup. It cant be comparable from what eaten outside. Hehe! Good life! Cant wait like seriously! :)

Tonight party night, hopefully Missy J no last min back out. And i've got a tuition tonight. :(

Happy weekends! :)

2012-01-11T17:08:00.002+08:00

Looking forward much to CNY. I need a good break or a good getaway badly.

My mood hasnt been here and stays well to focus on my work. I felt that each day i dont do much, i'll be watching dramas, fb-ing and tweeting. :( I'm just so laid back seriously! This is badddd!

Bad news i received yester, back to last module tmr! Aww, super power max schedule. Not looking forward to third module. This is weird, and exams in 2 to 3 months time! Omgawd!

Anyway, lately i've been looking back at some stuffs in life. Realised age is simply catching up. Have yet to score my goals. And i've put on great weight? :( Okay this sounds bad. I missed those times i can fit into petite size pretty clothes. But now .... :( Sad much. In need of routine runs in the park. But my body is feeling lazy unlike the past. I need to shed those fats awayyy! I need lots of self-motivation seriously. Secondly, driving theory exam long over, i need to stop idling and go go go for my practical stuffs and all. Hopefully pray hard this year i could get my license. No more delaying. Thirdly, faster score well in my exams and proved for myself. Forthly, im looking forward for hk trip. Either march or later part of the year.

This few days, still, i've lots of flashbacks. I think i've to do something about all this thoughts i had. I should stop go and view the only profile pic i can find of. I know i've to move on and of course be strong. Somewhere it's been holding me bit here and there. This is so wrong. I cant deny i may wish at times we could talk again, i may have that seconds of harsh moments wanting to text you. But i know i should think twice. I've been thinking as well did i really ever love the wrong person. I seriously don't know or maybe all this is a mistake to be started. Get an eraser and rub it away, i wish it's pretty easy like this. I dont tends to tell anyone of how i felt or much, this is the only space i could or rather pour it out thinking perhaps i'd feel better. Maybe for only an instance. Next instance it'd be back to square one. Thinking back of those days really mark it deep in my heart. Cny nearing, i'd be busy with helping you getting your shorts to alter it and you'd be telling mi you may follow your parents back to hk or maynot. And i'd feel that instance of disappointment. 2 cny 2 diff years i've wanting to invite you home for reunion dinner. I'd have the guts and suddenly it just disappear. I ever wonder one day would you take the initiative and talk to me again or never. This sounds stupid. Frankly, everything hurts me still today. Times i dont wanna remb all this and never want it to be a memory. Party hard to get over it, but knewing it's only a one night thing. Next day you'd get to remb it. I asked inside myself, why cant you ever let me feel happy again for even that short moments when you once make mi feel that you are so near mi.

Okay i need some icecream to cool the shit off my head.

2012-01-09T10:23:00.002+08:00

2nd week of a new year.

Started my monday morning with a terrible stomachache! :( Monday was just so bad today. I had insufficient sleep. I realised on every sunday i really suffered from insomnia. My thoughts were heavy. Damn. Tossing & turning it just feels so bad. And next day i'd feel zombie enough and sleepy much! But thank god no class for the week.

Anyway weekend was spent well with the right people. Friday was z&p. A new drink i tried, dreamer. Yummy! Was pretty high on friday but bit boring in p. Haha! Sat was hangover day, woke up 12 plus 1 and went over zy's crib. Wanted to tan, in the end lazy. Seriously laid back day. Sat by the pool enjoying the strong wind breeze. Really shiok! Then in the end, we decided to dip into the pool. Hehe! And bought dindin to stac's crib and laid back again! Haha! Met up with J, Te, Hm, K at hollandv. Coffeeclub and impromptu decision drinking at a bar. My all time fav drink blue curaco. Not so bad but sweet. Home sweet home next. Sunday was tuition with missy e. Was feeling lazy to head home so went pp to shop around. Bought nothing much except a new towel and facial products.

It's only 2nd week of a new year. But i seems to fail up my resolutions. I really been trying hard to remove you in my heart. But last night i thought through alot. Suddenly i remembered the time you hit and strangled on mi when you were so angry with mi. But when you left, you still texted mi. I just get to realised that even i know there is total insecurity, yet because i still hold on till the last bit. I remb the bracelet you surprised mi and gave mi. I just feel special when you gave it to mi, and the bracelet was the best gift i ever received frankly. You ever gave me a chance for mi to say out the problems, but i did not mentioned anything. If god really give me a chance to say now, i wont mind. At least my heart burden will weigh lesser. Sometimes i'd thought i should return you the bracelet yet i dont bear to do so. I really hope one fine day my mind no longer thinks back of you or anything. I just wanna move on to a better chapter just like the day you left you told me the same too.

2012-01-04T09:40:00.002+08:00

Hello 2012, bon voyage 2011.

A new year kick start, of course new resolutions. 2011 has been an up & down year filled with sorrows and also happiness. Memories stayed, goodbye sorrows. And my dear fake boyf was reminding mi that i may just past my 22nd birthday, but year 2012 i'm like 23 years old! Oh dear, we grown up so much! Can you imagine few years down the road we gotta have a family of our own. Wow! Haha!

The long weekend was indeed power-the-full and also tired max. Haha! Fri inititally z&p with the usual people but p was too packed and we cant enter! :( So hop to ph instead. Random choice! Mr D was there and a free waterfall and a beer from him for belated bday! Haha. Sat was countdown with J & Louis at HollandV at Fosters. Ambience is good. After being tempted, we hop to ph again! Haha! Sun merely 3 hours of sleep. Well done. Shopping with mommy at nex and yumyum lunch at DingTF. Night time was potluck with J & J's mommy & K. Grocery shopping and cooking. Pasta, brocolli, mashed potato. Damn yumyum! Haha! It's been so long i could tolerate throughout the day with that merely 3 hours of sleep. Well done! And monday was finally a catch up session with missy gold.hy. Happy! It's been few months. Towning & shopping like some rich taitais! Haha! Good food at our usual jap resturant. Buy & eat & drink! :)

Okay back to reality, back to work. And i dont feel good yester. I mean just so bad. Start of the day was the first scolding, late noon another scolding. :/ Was kinda pissed to the max. When i was very angry, i'd tear. Weird. But i indeed tolerated and swallowed it. So forget it! I'm considering taking a short break away. Maybe afterwhich i'd feel more refreshed. Seriously, lately the mood of working is not there.

Anyway new year new resolutions. I'm looking forward to cny! Yay! Havent decided what clothes to get though. Indeed fast, about 3 weeks away to cny. Hopefully the application is successful. I wanna revamp my room! And still aint sure when is the last module gonne start. Best after cny. Hehe! Glad that Nic's daddy called mi back for tuition again. Happy teaching Nic anyway. Can't wait for my exams to be over by April as well. Gonna chiong for 2 papers in March or April. I will do well, i tell myself.

When the new year begins, i decided to put away whatever memories i had for you. I mean people changed and we just gotta move on. It's been coming to 7 months. Time really flies in a blink. I dont know where you are and what are you doing right now. I think the best choice is prolly you make the best choice. Both of us could search for a happier life and a partner. For now, i may not be interested in anyone, as my heart still lingers a lil bit for you, but i've to be stern and firm to tell myself, it's a new year and i shall put away all this already. Once i told myself, if he meants to be yours, it'll eventually be. Till now, the words you marked down upon me before you left, it still hurt badly deep inside. I wished i can immediately forget it, but i'd take it as a reminder and a lesson learnt to myself. Maybe this is how we grow to be better. Insecurity caused mi to have too much unsolved problems with you. Whatever it is, it's over.

A great new start for everyone! :)

2011-12-30T11:33:00.003+08:00

2 more days to a brand new year, a brand new kick start. Hope 2012 will be good & awesome! :)

Thanks to those who wishes mi happy birthday and of course celebrating with mi and the presents i've got! Loving it. Well spent at Chinatown with Stac & gf & zy. Saw ah.b and had a short catch up! :) Dim sum at yumc. Haha! Mad funny and of course mad full! Met J & K at town after dimsum. Oh, i finally got my drmarts!

Say hello to "xiao hong!"

The colour is mad awesome! And uniqlo socks is damn woohoo, comfy & cute! Haha! Overall i'm happy. Had a mad sinful late dindin at marche as well! Good life of the day i turn 22! Hehe. Homed and i showed my daddy my "xiao hong!" He laughed. Oh ma ma! It's just so awesome yet some said i looked like i've donaldduck legs! Grrrrr..

Sometimes, i really feel that you are so near but yet so far. After so long, finally this day i had a good birthday celebration. It's not you that couldnt make the day goes well for mi, just that shits may happens. At times, there're some lingers on. But i know i've to move on still. People changed, things changed. Just like feelings too, it also changed. Maybe one day i could talk to you again, or maybe this day will just never exist. Unless i could break the fear barrier inside mi. But still, no matter what, i prayed silently to god seeking him that you'd be safe and good in no matter what you do. Learnt from mistakes and admit to mistakes. Amen god.

Anyway hope it'll be a great night tonight! :)

2011-12-28T11:03:00.002+08:00

Hi wednesday, i simply dont adore you today.

Oh well, i shall wish myself first, happybirthday eve. Haha! I'm down with serious flu, blocknose, and worst running fever! I cant take it this 2 days showering with cold water, i make sure i remb on the water heater before i enter my bathroom. Oh damn! And i dont wanna ruin my awesome 22nd with a fever. Eh fever, please go away can! :(

Anyway last weekend it was a long weekend. Not majorly good, i chosed to rot at home. Except sunday i was way bored and stepped out of the house for 2 hours. Wanting to shop, but nothing to buy. :( Monday was towning with the boys. Happy. Finally bought my iphone white. And my juicy case. Oh hello xiao bai! Haha. Town with the boys, canele and taka for snacks. I seriously in love with the korean meatballs! Way awesome, thumbs up for that! Afterwhich met the J & K, and off to expo for awhile. Still eyeing my olyp pcam! Please come fast! :)

Hopefully today and tmr and the day is good! A new start of the year it shall be good. Goodbye old ones, hello new ones!

2011-12-21T10:02:00.002+08:00

How time flies. 10 more days to an end of year 2011.

4 more days to x'mas. 8 more days i'm turning 22. Sometimes, i really wish i'm still a teen. Haha! Off to school, come back home relax abit, even got pocket money somemore. Haha! Frankly, school life during our 10s, it's awesome! Hehe.

And one more lesson, and that's it to my second module. And shout out loud, HOLIDAY! But this time we aint sure how long the break term is gonna be, last module should be starting in the early jan or mid jan. And wow, i've been an obedient lady for this only module unlike the first module, about 3 to 4 lessons i was skipping it. But this module i attended all the lessons. Haha! I enjoyed it alot though there're times it's pretty hard to crack the brain cells to solve that question.

I'm counting down to x'mas eve so badly, hello 4 days time! Muhaha, as i'm finally gonna replace my lao pok pok phone to iphone again! I'm still used to iphone. Hehe! Yesterday we hit town, and i was there early waiting for the king & queens! :( Oh well, i stepped into MJC. Guess what, i wished i've errr maybe 10k will do, i wanna buy everything! Haha. I found the MJC iph case i wanted. Something caught my eyes. Hehe! I shall not buy online those KS cases already though my mind still stuck with what i wanted from KS, but initially ive wanted MJC. Shall stop being fickle, stick with MJC!

After xmas & new year, we shall say hello to cny! An occassion i look forward to as well! Pretty clothes, pretty nails, pretty shoes, pretty accessories! Happy like a kid. Not to forget too, angpows & bonus! Hehe.

Looking far now, it's coming 6 months you were away. Maybe somehow i've really feel better than before. Sometimes there'd be times i looked back and see how silly i once was when you placed the true feelings to someone, but not likewise from you. I may still thought back the times we were out, the things you said to mi, i may be uncertain if my heart could forgive of what you said before you left, but there's a saying goes, forgive, forget & forgo. I asked myself, if one day i'd to see you on street, what'd i do. I guess i'd prolly run away like before and say nothing. Maybe thats better. Till now, i dont wanna think back of all those good and bad moments, just wanna let it slide by and look far forward. Somehow i'm aint sure if my heart is shaken by someone better. Still, for the time being, i'm happy with what i'm doing.

Good day everyone!

2011-12-12T09:40:00.002+08:00

It's mid of december already.

16 more days i'd be officially 22. How times flies. Since saturday, oh well my mood was pretty low. Partly flea sales wasnt good. I silently whispered inside my heart word of birthday wishes to you. Stuck at home after tuition, staring at the old grandfather's clock, cant wait to see the clock past 12am and it's over. How silly am i.

Looking back, we have been this far apart. Sometimes, it lingers here and there. I mean, not that i dont wanna feel better, trying so hard to get over it. This hurts mi the most badly ever. I wanna feel good than before. It's coming 6 months seriously. I dont seems to trust ever since. Silently, i went peeping your photo, thinking back those good and bad times. Though it's not major happy times we had. Oh well, i should stop about it. I promised myself i wont tear over you anymore.

3 more weeks to a brand new year, which means a new start in a new year. Looking forward to many stuffs ahead. Firstly, 2nd module is coming to an end in about 2 weeks. Say 'YAY!' Hopefully 2 weeks break as well. Haha! Secondly, my iphone has been resting in peace for about 2 months or so. Shall get one to replace the current lao pok pok phone before x'mas. Thirdly, bonus bonus bonus. Teehee. I want more ka-chinggg! Fourthly, chinese new year, angpows! Hehe! Fifth, of course quickly mark the end of my 3rd module, then exams be all over smoothly, and of course passed with flying colours. Sixth, hopefully hk trip in march would be a success. Oh please, i'm dying to goooo. Hope pppp gets successful off days. *Prays hard.*

So i guess this is much i'm looking forward to. This year, i'm not enthu about celebrating my birthday. Ever thats short app-ing session with bro, seriously i told him i wont bother much of who dont have the intention. It dont bothers mi much as people can change at any point of time.

Great days ahead! :)

2011-10-29T11:49:00.003+08:00

Hola! It's gonna be a long post with pictures too!

Last friday.
Met up with J & A for a super late dindin at hollandv, crystal jade. Mad full! Afterwhich pick up L then off to downtown while J & A was supposed to head for bowling while waiting for K to arrive. So L & I went for billy's 21st chalet. Not much people but we played some games. It's funny! Drink drink not drunk. Haha! J came back and joined in and home sweet home at 4plus.

Not supposed to sleep, as i'm afraid to fall asleep as fake boyfee's parents picking us up to the ferry terminal.
Say Hello to Batam! Let the pictures do the talking.

Day 1: Tanah Merah Ferry Terminal Killiney Kopitiam while waiting for late queen to arrive.

Will be continued ...

2011-10-19T12:15:00.002+08:00

Time for some long update.

I've an awesome weekend last week. Friday had some event help-out for Tee. I had fun earning ka-ching of course! Hehe. Afterwhich i just went walking around alone at ps. Bought some stuffs. :) And rushed back home changed and prepared and J came to pick mi up for z&p. It's been a month we went there. Haha! The plan was only mi and j going for the night. We had volka, martinins and flaminglambos for the night. More powerful is we had in total 4 flaminglamobos. Muhaha! Anyway we really had fun and making new funnier friends. Brad the angmoh, c & k came last minute. And it was great seeing Rh & Jo there too!

Sat was nothing unusual except the part i got a bad start to kick start the day. But still alright. Tuition, and trim shorter my hair and touch up the roots. Afterwhich to sp coffeebean to study. Hehe. Met J & L and headed over to HollandV. Nydc for the sinful night! :) Home sweet home next!

Sunday was still tuition again and bball with J at sk. I had an awful experience with arrogant guys. Ewww. After bball, fetch K then L & L's friend bruno. We went eco to explore cars shaking. Lol. Then to 85market for some sinful bakchormee, fried oyster, chickywing, wuxiang. Awesome much! Exciting stories from Brunooo. Haha! We were googaga-ing throughout. Home at like 2.30am!

Monday was way awesome. Muhaha! The office building had some electricity down issue, boss delcare knock off at 1 plus 2. Haha! Called mom and met her and went over to chinatown for yumcha dimsum buffet. Way too awesome but never ate much. But mom did! Haha! Then went walking around with mom and reminsince the places when i was much younger, she'd always bring mi to chinatown to eat and walk around. Despite i was tired and sleepy at that hour, but i truly enjoy the company with her. Skipped class day. Haha. Homed rested awhile and met J & Kel to bedok. Sinful popeyes side dishes. Hehe! I think im putting Kgs now. Wth, i must slim down fast and go runningggg. :(

Thank god its wednesday! 3 more days to saturday, say hello and goodbye singapore, hello batam with the sec cliques. Finally a short getaway from work and all. Effing excited. And yay, mom just called say there's dinner cook by her for mi tonight! Im so craving for it. Haha! It's been long she cooked, i miss her cooking so badly! Sometimes i wish i'm still a child, a teen. Everyday after school after training, i'd get home eat dinner cooked by her though at times i was spoilt, i'd eventually cook maggie mee to go with her rice or whatsoever dishes. So now i understand when we were younger, we should be feeling that kind of fortunate and happy for someone whom your mom cook for you and cherish it. As we get older, nobody is heading home for dindin, mom being to cook less or dont cook. Except the part when i was in a relationship, the other mom eventually cook for mi everyday. Those daysss. Haha!

Its going to be 4 months. I think of you lesser, i miss you lesser. But memories of you and the places will also be there till the day the places we went before is demolised. I used to hope that you'd call mi one day just like how you did on the phone, when you ask mi to return to you. I used to think that you'd do it again. But now i truly know this are all of my naive mindsets. People changed, people move on. Just like how you moved on, just like when i trying way hard to be firm on the stand and never contact you again. This short journey months slowly make mi realised and see alot of things. This month will be the month you are back to society to work. I once said before, when you get to society to work, i'll still wait for you at bustop after work and go have dinner just like before. And i ever once thought before to myself, when you completed army, i'll go purchase new working shoes, new working clothes for you to feel refresh and have a good start at work. Always been hoping for this day to come, but we ended few months before to this coming date. When you left, on that instance, i was still being silly looking forward to this day coming. Sometimes, i really wish you could kiss mi on my forehead, hold my hands and hug mi when im tired when im down. This has always been my long waiting long expecting from you. Right now, i believed i've distance away from you alot. No network connections we had. Even on messenger, i deleted you away long ago for some reasons when we quarrelled. Life still have to move on sometimes. When memories reminsinces back, it truly hurts alot.

2011-10-14T09:54:00.003+08:00

Tgif.

Have been feeling extremely exhausted. Cant get out of bed but yet still have to. Dread heading for work. This whole week, literally i can anytime shut my eyes and KO. :(

Wednesday was a bad day at work. :( Oh well. Had tuition and afterwhich, K & J came to pick mi up. By right wanna head for uddersicecream. But change of plan, to airport for TCC! :) Great tons of laughs for the night!

Yesterday it was bad day 2. :(:( Left office pretty late, and my phone screwed up. Supposed to head for class, in the end i went home to fix the bloody phone! I still prefer my iphone. :( Afterwhich done fixing the phone, rang J up for dindin. So headed over to school mark my attendance and get my notes so to study over the weekends. And J pick mi up with colleague and off to pick K and to MS. Thai express for dindin! Phadthai is the all-time fav! Shall bring mom to thaiexpress soon to eat some other stuffs! Round 2 night of laughing.

Its mid month of october. I remb around this period of time you'd ord already or already so. Next step, probably you'd find a job. Here and there, i ponder am i still silly or what. I'd go hotmail to search for you and view your only display photo. Staring at it, make mi think back alot. Those times before you went for army, you already been hurting mi alot. But i did not give up and let it continue between us despite how much unhappy i was even you lay your hands on mi, even you treated mi like some cruel ways, even you dont really make mi feel that you are eventually giving mi a girlf status, even with all those close photos you took with the same person times and times again till i dont wanna even view it on fb. All this kinda paused mi to think back when you left for the 2nd time, and you blocked mi in fb. You came back again, you did not unblock mi even till now. I'd tell myself it's alright, whats more to be matter now. When i was googling about the uddericecream, i suddenly saw the address of one outlet, and it really reminds mi back of you suddenly. That very one day, you'd be sweet enough to bring mi to try new things. I was in love with the alcohol icecream and moreover we were sharing it. Ever since, i've been bugging you to bring mi there but none happened. I remb there's once, i was not in a good mood but terrible mood with you, we eventually walked past there, you did asked mi shall we go have icecream first before we go for our dindin. I know i was throwing tantrums and didnt want to reply you because i know at that point of time i was real mad at you. I'd really say, yes i appreciate those days working at suntec, you may dislike mi those days working in retail line, complaining i dont have time to accompany you, but you were nice enough to come down dinner or lunch with mi even you may complain tired or scold mi at times. I do appreciated all this. You only merely know mi bit well. You know my ipod is important to mi and you will see mi listening to it all the times, and you'd change your old earpierce to new earpiece for mi. I do appreciate all this too. I do remb too, when purchasing my iphone, you came out to meet mi, accompany mi to wait outside cafecartel, even it took few hours till you throw tantrum as you were late for home for the tangyuan festival with your family. I remb after that i immediately take a cab and send you home and off i go. Throughout the journey, you never want to talk to mi. Till you get home after awhile, you talked to mi again. And when i came by teddybears, i'd always remb that on every occasions with or without occassions, i'd give you bears with card and you'd love it alot. You said you love mi because you had never received handmade gifts from your love one. You make mi thought that i'm unqiue to you, but i know i wasnt at all. Seeing the smile on your face whenever you see the bears, it really makes mi smile to look at the silly face of yours.

I still been asking myself, i know my answer to it may not be firm enough. I asked if one day you'd to return, would i accept it again after so many gone away. To be frank i dont know my own answer, it may be yes or even no. I know that i dont wanna get hurt to this bad extent anymore, i'd rather you be good and nice and pay enough attention to mi. That was what i yearn in you throughout the 2 years of up and down relationship.

Come on, i know i shouldnt be tearing bit now but sometimes it really hurts badly when you think much.

Damn ninjia, he's adding fire in my pants right now in what's app!

2011-10-10T11:48:00.002+08:00

Hola!

Today is monday. :( Monday be over, tuesday be over, wednesday be over, thursday be over, of course welcome friday with a smile only when the clock strikes 5.30pm! I'm seriously tired out from past few days. My weekends was spent happily partially i'd say.

Let the pictures do the talking for friday night out!

Ninjia Mark's 21st @ Holiday Inn.

Bestie Leon.

The birthday drunk boy - Yh.

The shag moments.

The commandos & the civilians.

Leon, Wangxu & (oops, i forgot his name!)

Best girlf, Gwen.

Drunkards.

I love this.

Mario Birthday card for Mark!:)

I'd say friday is an awesome night, bottles of alcohol, 10 commandments games, stayover and a great good time chat with G, seeing the birthday boy drunk night, the bathub scenario and all. Homed at 7am was a no joke issue when woke at 12 plus 1 for tuition! :(

Sat was nothing unusual, tuition and T fetched mi after that. Inpromptu last min decision to head over to ECP for a flea walk and coffee talk. Old town for coffe and my first meal of the day, my favourite prawn noodle & red bean freeze! :) Had a good chat, a good laugh. T sent mi home! Headed over to holiday inn to pick up thing from yh and met G at vivo. Party night round 2. 4 bottles of grey goose+cranberry overdose. Omgawd.

(Sorry friend, i know i screwed the night away. Yes i havent seen d for a year, but why mention about the photo issue when it's already a year ago. If he dont mention it, seriously i've already gotten over it. But mentioning about it, you make mi think back and i felt worse about it. What happened already happened and it's over. Worst is no topic but you mention this, i'd say wth! Yes i do feared of him, fear that he might know it but act dont know. Even he knows it, forget it, cause i dont wanna know now whether he knows anot. Doesnt matter. And partly i felt bored. The company that i dont really know, so i'm quiet, not that i dont socialise with them. You dont really understand but i dont blame you. The part i got bit pissed, i've my reasons. It's just unlike you. And i know i shouldnt throw tantrums despite i'm half sober and i know it well what am i doing. I should be that friend whom i always be, to send you home despite the cabfare is exp, but i chased you away and i cried and i ran away when i didnt know you were still there sitting to wait for mi when it's pouring so heavily. I can only apologise to you through apps and i understand you've your reasons not to reply.

You're an important friend to mi, when i'm so down that you were there with mi despite i went through alot of those hardships. Those office days you were in, i enjoyed our everyday msn chats talking and laughing out loud insanely infront of our desktop. When i was so down, you were there to motivate mi and make mi move on a lot, and partly you gave mi the motivation to forgo a relationship which is bad. And towning session with you on those past weekends. I truly enjoyed your company and all day whining to you like a bimbo bitch.

Sorry once again. )

Sunday was tuition again. Woke up with a bad headache despite mum woke mi up to have lunch together. But failed to make it so skip it. After tuition, just wanna walk around somewhere to calm my mood down. Went to tamp1 to get a big cup of Koi. Overdose of honey milktea makes mi go to the loo! :( Last min bball session with J, Stan & the rest at Sk. The court which i remb i went like ages ago with the oldlove. Lol. Played badly as the mood wasnt really there, keep making stupid hand stupid foot mistakes. Damn it. Knee injury is acting up again. Waited for KC to pick us up, 2 hours! Wow. Pick L over at tnmrt and off to simpang bedok. It's been long i went there with the secondary co. Kwaytiao goreng pattaya, mushroom soup, longan drink and a super sinful cheese fries for all to share! Wasted my food as it's way late as i eat i'm feeling sleepy. I always cant finish the pattaya and always ate half of it and thats it! Next time no moreeeee wasting food! If i could only order half pattaya! Haha! Homed at like 2.3oam.

I'm suffering from insufficent sleep for the past few days! I've yet to revise on my modules. Damn, and i skip lessoon last week somemore. No more again! :/ Super effing late for work today and boss reached early and worst when he've no keys. Sorry! I got a blackface today. :(

Hope today i can endure through the night till i get back home!

2011-10-03T11:47:00.002+08:00

A new month of October.

Monday isn't the day for mi today. I'm feeling sleepy, moody and dont wanna do anything today. Deprived of sleep like badly. And i've yet to revised. :(

Been 3 weeks no z&p. Nothing much to elaborate about it. But friday night went ice-cream chef when K came over to fetch mi to head over to siglap. While awaiting for J & Y, we ate ice-cream first. Tiranmisu with belgian waffle. The waffle was top with whipped cream. Thank god K help mi removed it and ate it with this chocolate peanut ice-cream. Hehe! And i swear the waffle is damn hard and worst is i'm given a plastic fork and knife which i scared i'd break it. So again K helped mi to cut to small pieces. Fml, i'm like a little girl asking mummy to cut it small pieces for mi. LOL. J & y finally came and afterwhich we went for bowling. Ehub was mad crowded on the bowling waiting list so decided to switch over to kallangleisure for bowling instead. Super fun and funny! Played 2 rounds each. Afterwhich everyone is kinda hungry except mi, went over to geylang for late night dimsum. It's nice, but due to it's too late so didnt ate much. Home sweet home next!

Saturday flea with one of my favourite bff, JH. 2 tables was awesome and we had a hidden secret about it. But it was a great cheap deal! Muhaha! We had pepper rice & ABC (my-all-time-fav) soup for brunch. Surprisely we cant finish it at all. I left half? Haha! It was super hot over at the flea but we managed to earn alot of moolahhhs! And i finally bought my look-alike JC shoe! Oh it's mad tall but i'm thinking would i get a chance to wear it man! Lol. JH's boyfee came to fetch us and home sweet home! Was itching to get out that night for chilling session, but im like tired and lazy to do so. So stayed home watched tv till late night when my eyes could barely open. Haha!

Sunday is nothing unusual. Tuition and tamp1 next before heading back to office for some urgent reports for my boss. Lately i'm just so in love into jeans. Bought a pair of jeans at a great deal from dorothyperkins. Yay!

I can't wait for nearly end oct to arrive, batam getaways with the cliques! :)

Today, i looked back alot of things. It's month of oct already which is your last month of army or you had 1 more week plus or so to ord. I'm aint at your side right now which i promised before to you that i'll be there for you till army is over. But i couldnt be there. Even till now, i wish i've the courage to talk to you. To even email you. To even send you a text through phone. But i paused and asked myself, why and what's the point. I know you may not reply mi, because you had not texted mi for 3 months plus already and the last few words tou said before we came to a final parting.

Thinking back, i remb how one fine night i was walking home, when i texted you a word of apology when we were only friends and we quarrelled and when 3 days later i took the initiative to send a word sorry during the bus ride journey home. And moments later, you replied with a confession, i like you. I was taken aback but i take it as nothing much and replied you like as though nothing until you make yourself clear. After some thoughts i decided to give each other a chance despite i had some hesitation inside mi. First date out to town when you had an event for work and took a half day work to keep mi company on my off day. I remb the first date meal we ate was healthy subway. I always remb the first date we had and the first date of what you wore. The favourite white small line checkered top on you and a pair of jeans and your favourite timberl shoes. And your fav hugo boss perfume. I still miss the scent on you. Time really flies isnt it? 3 months of total silence between us. Sometimes i wished badly i'd have the urge to text you to email you. But i cant, i know i should not be doing it prolly.

I wish i could really get over you fully, but sometimes i may wants you back here, i'm too used to you being here texting mi, the scent on your body. I've tried but i still cant forget anything. Each new month started, i should be happier, i should stop thinking. But as times goes by, i keep feeling the bitterness deep inside.

2011-09-28T12:44:00.002+08:00

I'm grumbling down here, oh why oh why it's only wednesday & i seems to have many things undone.

Lately, i really couldn't get out of the bed and take a bus to work, yet i'm wasting a single cent on cab. Fml. I hated myself for that. Seriously i need to quit this habit of mine in the morning or else it'd only get worse! :(

Late night hang out with J & K. J came over pick mi up then K took over the wheels. Went to C.airport to chill at TCC. Shared a pot of Sensual Tea with J. Ordered a piece of MangoDiva cake. Thumbs up for it and it's super yummy. Gossips & laugh & personal life stuffs. More about K yester night. We laughed like there's no tmr. Haha! Home sweet home at 2 plus.

Month of oct is coming. I wish i no longer wanna brood about all this about us. Maybe part of mi i can forgive you for some stuffs, maybe part of mi i really can't forgive you and even get over you fully. But i really would still try and do something to divert away. Busy hectic life is coming up. And month of oct is your final wish to finish army already which you've been looking forward. And maybe someday we'd talk again or maybe we wont. Everything is god's plan. We may not be close friends but likely of distant friends or maybe we wouldnt even be friends again. This is depends on own will and even you yourself. Im aware you've always been contacting your ex despite i really kept quiet though i dont feel good. A lot of things i eventually said to you at all. Afraid you'd get angry. Less say it'd be better. And maybe someday too, we'd talk. If there's chance, we can even sit down and talk. I think this'd be better of all. 3 months had passed by, and i'm gonna get back the other line soon. Prolly i should stop running away now and faced it. Fear anot, i must pull through. Whether you have a new partner now if it's so easy for you to forgo mi, i'd still bless you and wish you good even though deep down i know it's heartbreaking for mi.

Someday if i could, i wish i could hold your hands tightly, hug you tightly. and talk everything over the moon.

2011-09-26T10:04:00.002+08:00

It's monday again and today it marks 3 months. Time really flies by fast, and i suddenly ponder why is it so fast & it seems so long already.

Dinner with Anglx yester at our usual hangout place. And a lil while shooting bball session. Home and bathe and out with J & K as K came over to fetch mi to kovan again for icecream. Homed at 1 plus 2. Laughing session of the night. And i only managed to revised my studies a few pages and i did not complete my assignment. Oh well, will try to finish up before heading for class later.

Today woke up pretty late for work, weather is too awesome to sleep in and my lazy body was so dreading to get out of bed! Hehe.

Every night, i wish i could stop thinking of you. For an instance moments ago, i've the urge to text you about everything. Telling you frankly i still misses you alot despite this few months the absence between us. I paused and hold back, if im gonna do this, what'd the reply be like? Were it be like what i expected, either good or it'd be nasty saying he has a new partner. One side of the mind i'm thinking, i wanna fight for the hold of it that i still love and misses him, another part of the mind it's telling mi, will he think likewise. It's only a moment of impulsiveness. Absence makes the heart grow fonder. Sometimes i can't wait to get over you, like really wanna stop thinking stop missing you. But i simply cant. I dont know still how to let go. I may have been holding back all this tears telling myself to stay strong. But i've my weak side, a weak side that i'd only keep it. Only ponder it and think why pros and cons at night. Would you ever talk to mi again, did you texted the other no when i've suspended it, i may not be able to reply or. Prolly all this i'm thinking too much. But do you know how much i really wanna you to be like who you, back from europe that tender person to mi though you behave for a few months, but im more than happier, you were nice and sweet, you did cared for mi those instance, you'd wait for mi for lunch for dinner, travelled all the way down to my workplace find mi for dinner, talk to mi about your army school stuffs and all. I like, i adore. Even you are tired, you got exam the next day, you would complained but dont understand why you still come down, but i truly adore. I was used to you coming dinner with mi. You were once worried i dont eat well. I adore those days even we met early for lunch before i head work, i may complain i'm tired those days waking up early but deep down i am sorry for the complain but i feels good as long as you are there. After lunch, you were sweet enough to take the bus with mi and send mi off to work. You may not send mi home ever, but this are the moments i have convinced myself this is good. I may nag at you and you dont like, i understand. But i only want you to know this is what i meant it good for you. When you even sent mi to work, you were trying to be funny telling mi you ownself go walk around then you go home. I may be worried but i've to go work still. When i reach work, you'd text mi saying you'd wait for mi for dinner. I was happy but dont really feel good that you've to wait for mi for hours till dinner time. You may do the slightest thing to make mi happy. Or even once before you enter army, you were working those days. You'd be really cute texting mi you lost your way all the way to clm, i was like huh? When i think back, my heart would be laughing at your sillyness. In fact, you'd find mi for dinner. I was even laughing at you and making fun of you so you lost your way until here. If only that instance, i could hug you telling you thanks silly. But i couldn't. I never dare to hug you or touch you because you always given mi the feeling cannot touch you. You may not be very good and nice to mi, but only those moments when you've enough money, you'd suddenly came back after we departed from dinner, and i went back to work, you'd ask mi to come out and meet you awhile and i remb you passing mi a red sk bag. I asked you what's inside but you just wouldnt say and ask mi to look for myself. When back to work i open it, do you know that i was very happy, to mi though it's so exp, but you secretly go get it for mi and surprised mi at work. Once again, thank you for all this good memories. I know that through all this, you may have been secretive in whatever you do may lead mi to the wrong stand, i know that i dont trust you enough and neither do you, in the end we could only distance so much. If times goes back, you'd do like what you say, you'd sit down talk things out with mi, when you make mi believe you eventually would. We had so much misunderstandings between us. But nothing is able to be sit down and solve it. I really misses so much those days when we first started, you';d bring mi to the park and we would sit on the swing and talk alot of things. When i cry, your shoulders your hand would surrond mi and let mi cry on you. I misses your smell alot. I know you hate mi for accusing you at times. Now we are quieten down, i've think through alot. What you mean what you do, even your last words were something i dont understand why you did that and say that, but still, i'd only want to keep the good memories and wanna forget what you have ever said. To mi, it's like everything that just happened yester.

Now i really could figure out myself, one day maybe you return, maybe i'd give you one more chance. If only...

2011-09-24T12:34:00.002+08:00

Yester things just simply went wrong.

I was enraged in anger. At first, i was excited and happy. Happy over cutting away my long hair like finally. Having a new change of image. Excited to get home and change and head for night out though i least expected shit repeats the second time. I was mad pissed this time. This is f second time and i was so outrage that i feel like bursting in tears. Thank god P spoken to mi, i felt better. Now i understand one theory, one can be good and kind, but not too kind to the extent. People would take you for granted. There goes my second straight week friday. Well done i'd say. This time i wont say anything more, best is to keep quiet.

Last night, my feeling was so bad to the extent i really wish you were here. I can rant to you and you'd even listen though you hardly given mi a listening ear. I may or may not feel better, but i miss your smell when you were beside mi, when you'd put your hands round my shoulders to let mi cry on your shoulder those days you brought mi in the park. Despite what i do, i still can't get over you. It's going 3 months in a few days times, and this is how much we have really distance apart. I'd wish at times i can speak to you ever again, but i doubt i've the guts. I still misses you alot until i could stop one fine day.

2011-09-21T10:01:00.003+08:00

Finally it's wednesday! How i wish, everyday passes by fast. I can't wait for weekends to arrive!

School started on monday. And i'd say it's awesome though. I thought i'd have a hard time to concentrate after so long, but thank god i can. Have to be fast in writing in order to take down what the lecturer say. I tell myself i'm just gonna study hard and try to sit for exam in Jan! Doubt i'm prepared to sit for exam in Nov. It's way too rush to focus alot! Way to go Jasmin!

I've been feeling kinda tired this few weeks. Got weekends to sleep, but i'm like so busy hardly get to sleep more than 10 hours on weekends to rest my body. And now schedule have changed for the weekdays as school started, which means i'd feel more tired, long hours of tuition after work, school and adding on to the workload! Omgawd.

Lately, i still thinking about you, about the first we started till we ended. I asked myself, why do i still ponder why couldn't i fully totally let this of you out of mind. I asked why? I dont know how to handle all this leaving mi with ponders, why oh why. I know this is stupid, i still think would we even talk again would you tell mi whats with the sudden in you. You make mi so unlikely that this is you. I just feel that perhaps there's things you hiding from mi. Yes i do care even till now. Because you are the only one i had really do it with all my best. When i'm broke, i still make sure you have enough money. Even i'm left with 40bucks in my wallet, i make sure i'd still give you at least a 30 bucks and i dont mind about myself left with so little money. I missed those times, heading to supermarket to get grocery for you. One thing i could say, i always love grocery shopping with someone i love. It's just so fun. I should have totally let go right now and tell myself why should i even think back and whats the point. Next month, you gonna ord already. I used to say to you, i'll wait till your army is over, i'd wanna see you back to working society again. I always love seeing you in your smartwear, long sleeve and pants/jeans. The tutu you. Now all this can only remain memories that once happened before. To you, you said it before who am i, always stay as a mystery. I only wanna say is, it's never a mystery. You have never care truthfully at all and would want to understand mi more. It truly hurts so badly how you treated mi, and i never failed to ask why is it this manner out of nowhere from the day i accepted you. As though i've owe you alot. I just never know. I may not accept if you had a new partner now, i may cried badly for that instance, i may not be able to accept it, but i'd say i just dont wanna know even if you have.

No matter what, if one day we could talk about everything here instead letting it unsaid, i dont mind. At least i'd feel better. And to you, i'm never a better girlf at all despite whatever i do.

I'll learnt from it and become better despite what setback.

2011-09-19T10:28:00.002+08:00

Oh it's monday again! :(

I've a bad stomachache to kick start the day when i reached office. :\ It's gonna be a long post with pictures too!

Friday- Took leave and morning the weather wasnt awesome, so skipped swimming and tanning. Noon went to mrt station to pick up my Toms shoe! Yay, i love it great lots! :) Bought lunch for daddykin and myself and back home. My mum ate half of my rice when i'm already so hungry. Haha! As we were rushing off to grandma's house, my mum's theory was like that you and mi eat is faster. Omg! Haha. Off to grandma's house for the talking and all. Hope things would be different i guess. Off to school to pay my school fees and off to gym! Im a good girl on friday night, no z&p. Hehe!

Saturday- Back to office to complete my work and off for tuition. Afterwhich head to town to send my iphone for repair. Anyway it's a waste of trip i supposed. My phone just died on mi like that. Most of the contacts is gone. Damn! Then buddy.k came to meet mi. Went walking around. Hehe. Some lil sinful buys! :)

Tiffany&Co.

F21 accessories.

TYPO- Office new mousepad & bts notebook & pens.

Dinner with buddyk at cine javiers! Yummy ttm and of course bloated. Homed early on a sat night & my legs are breaking. Haha!

Sunday- Lunch with my brother. Off for tuition. Enraged mi ttm. While i was on my way to the tutee's house, the mum texted mi her son is sick. Oh well done though! I really feel like dropping this tuition. I kinda cannot take it anymore to tolerate this kind of anger. Fml. Went to meet Anne for early movie instead. Bought daniel along too! Haha. Caught Johny English & Crazy stupid love. Thumbs up for both movies! :) Afterwhich rushed home get my bball gears and head to plcc to meet Jess, Kc and Samson for bball. Oh well, din din at AMK after sending the guys to their destination.

Dear stomach, please kindly stop groaning in pain! :(

It's coming towards 3 months. I just couldnt bring myself to believe it. I really misses those days back with you. I may not hate you that much for what you done to mi. But is there even a need for mi to hate you i asked myself. I remb those times i'd not sleep just to stay awake afraid that i couldnt wake up at all and meet you for breakfast before you head to camp and even cab you there or travel with you. The morning woke up face of yours, look like a blur sotong to mi which i find you cute and funny, having mac breakfast together and the smell on your body filled my nose. I always find it cozy to sit beside you because you are there. I miss the times when you first book out when you would wish to see mi the most there, your tired face carrying the big backpack and when your hand was injured, i could take care of you throughout without even complaining. I enjoyed all my movies session with you for the movies you always choosed never failed to be the worst or not nice movie to watch about. How long more i asked upon god, how long more could i get over you. I really aint sure. Maybe a year or less or more, i won't know. Until i meet the right one, though i once thought that having you is enough though often we quarrel about this and that, we just never had a time sit down to talk things out. Sometimes, i really wish time can turn back, let mi change certain things and talk to you again. If only i could i tell myself.

2011-09-15T17:14:00.002+08:00

Yay, it's thurday! Spell it H-A-P-P-Y! :)

Went for training yester at KLNC. I'd say it's awesome, sprinting running and drills and drills. The feel is still there! Next week is more of physcial training, doubt i'd be able to make it. :( My body is still aching after last week and adding on to yester exercise. But pretty shiok when you sweat out. Lil secret, i didnt realised i wore wrong side of my shorts till after an hour i realised?! Oh well. Haha! I had fun! Home sweet home and i'm just so in love with dad cooking maggie mee. I can't describe why the taste is simply just so awesome than anything, i felt like at one shot i can swallow the whole bowl, but i didnt. Haha! It's simply the best maggie mee i ever ate in my life because we hardly get to eat it. Hehe!

I've a big obvious blueblack on my right wrist. Owe up, who pinch or beat mi during my sleep? Haha! Today i woke up my left arm was feeling haywired, pain much. Something just stuck on my veins i guess. I swing up and down especiaslly when the feeling is just woke up, at that moment i thought my arm gonna swing out. Haha! Anyway i'm looking forward back to playing more and more more more more sports! No matter what, i'll simply squeeze time out. :)

Tgif tmr! Dental was cancelled so i'm heading for a hair trim and tanning. Please weather, please be awesome tmr! And battle is changing to tmr instead, so i wonder how i'd head to gym and to settle some stuffs.

Its gonna be a busy friday tmr!

Last night, i was somehow dwelling upon something, does this time consider you had a reason for all this? Maybe or maybe not. I won't know. I still miss you at times but it's within my control. I still hope no matter where you are, you are safe. My heart still have a hole thats all i can say.

2011-09-14T10:50:00.003+08:00

Hi Wednesday.

I'm feeling mega super tired. :( Oh well, lately just so unreluctant to get out of beddd. Taking my own sweet time to get my body off bed. Why oh why am i so lack of sleep and being so tired at work and laze back lately. I need to re-energise!

Yester j came to pick mi after tuition at tutee's house downstairs. Drove and went to CCK this place call ' Farmart centre. ' This place is really pretty awesome. Like you were back to those oldies days and all environment. Not those vintage kind but you wont be able to believe how come feel like you are in genting the mushroom farm. Omg it's just awesome. Only can drive in to such ulu place with nice ambience and good relaxing. There's a coffeeshop & this resturant/cafe ' Auswine '. Pretty awesome i'd say. I'd want to head back there with a group of friends and relax and eat and chat over anything! Wt & Hm came along too! Jess & i order camomile tea. Thumbs up! :) And some finger licking food. Homed at 11 plus. :)

Today is the start of the day of my first decision, hope it goes smoothly!

Last night i couldnt sleep well, i kept thinking of you. I feel stupid at times why at times it just remind mi so much. Sometimes i would wanna have the urge to contact you through your number or your email, but i stop and think for the while before thinking if this could be even good.

Looking forward to evening time & i forgotten to bring my socks. Haha!

2011-09-12T09:45:00.005+08:00

How's weekends people ? Mine was spent away with awesome people. :)

Friday was the super hilarious night. Improptu decision last min decided to head zouk meet the friday co. at usual place, z&p! Oh well, headed there at like past midnight 12 plus. Jess, Dominic, Kc & his friends,. Jason. Vodka Orange and my fav vodka apple and follow by 2 flaminglambos. Hehe. I seriously didnt heard jess told mi she want one and i drank 2 straight at a go, they kept laughing mi non-stop. Oh well. After flaming, i was high already. But craving for more drinks and Kc got longisland. Muhaha! So i drank almost half jug. Hehe. I can't remb when did i drop dead at z and i dont even remb did i enter p. That's even the worst. Anyway it's seriously the worst drunk night ever. Haha! Jess & the rest had a hard time taking care of mi from z to p to z. Lol. I cant stand what i eventually did that day. Haha! 1O guys chronicles. Fml. Became the most memorable night for mi myself and them. Okay no more next time. Haha. Thank god Kc & Jess didnt send mi back home but back to Jess's house. :)

Woke up the next morning, i was having a mad serious head spinning, serious hangover. And was having a super duper funny chat with jess about what happen and the group what'spping. Haha! An 11 rounds of vomitting session. :( Jess's daddy & mummy drove mi home, and i got car sick. Vomitted in the car, thank god theres a plastic bag. Haha! Back home, rested and skip flea/ :( Sorry jh! :( Then evening woke up and Jess came to pick mi up then Kc and headed to hollandv for din din with jason too. Vietnam pho hoa all time fav! :) Good eating & laughing session. Depart and headed to find aunties and the rest. Pissed off for a short while. Left with auntie and back home changed. Supposed to club but change of decision and went to woodlands waterfront. It was an awesome park. Lantern and candle time. :) Jess, Jason, Kc, Jerome & his friends, Mel & sj ! Home-d at 2 plus 3.

Sunday was tuition day! Oh well, after tuition went tamp. Can't stand my gelish ripping off so went ahead for soak off. Yay, bare nails. Then went to get my gongcha! :) And tamp1 for my xiaolongbao and homed. Slack eat and then finally the rest come with decision for our sports day and went ahead to tamp for bball and captain ball and badminton. Stanley & girlf, Jess, Kc, Mel & sj. I had awesome fun with them. Afterwhich went to TampSafra for bathing. Haha! And off to airport for our dindin! And homed at 1 plus. Mad tired!

3 awesome days were well spent! And i knew that i still miss him alot, i cried in z and keep uttering i miss him. Joke of myself seriously. Now i understand why people drunk, they'd spilled beans out! Haha! I gotta beware of myself. Haha!

Back to monday! Shout it out, WEEKENDS PLEASE!

2011-09-08T11:28:00.002+08:00

Hi world. My stomach gave mi a bad start of the day. Awww.

Went hollandv at night with jess & kc for some gossip session. Breko the second time. The brownie with ice-cream was awesome, but i woke up with a bad stomachache. And worst is i can't get out of bed today when the clock strikes 8.30am. Dad was saying quick wake up you are late. I'm just so laze back to get myself to work. :(

I've been thinking alot about many stuffs lately. To join or not to join though i'm kinda keen in playing again. But ... so many stuffs to forgo. I do enjoy d & a's tuition session. Oh well, i need time to reconsider though. Work has been hectic. I can't finish much of my work lately. Somehow i'd get stuck in my report. Omgawd.

Sometimes i don't know whether times flies by fast is a good thing. I kept asking myself this question, do i still hate you ? Or maybe i dont or maybe yes or maybe i dont even know. it just confused myself really badly. I'd ponder why cant you be ever good to mi, why cant you even cherish each and every single bit when you wanted us to be back together for so many countless times but in the end you are still like that. I always felt you'd take mi for granted, i just couldnt feel though you've ever love me before or perhaps you just wanted someone there to be your cashflow machine or something. I'd ask myself am i really thinking too much why i'd always feel that i'm the third party. I dont know. I dont wanna know anything, i just dont wanna hear anything from your side how you would used others to pose a threat in my life to make mi have no confidence in being with you, ever to hold your hands freely as i wanted. When you've never ever send mi home, or hold my hands for this 2 years, i asked myself, what are we actually. You gave mi to see was you never love mi. I thought i am stupid enough to give all the love, but was it a regret thing ? Prolly it's too late to even turn back. I always remb after work, when im so feeling down because of you, i'd head to town for my ben&jerry icecream. Ignore those stares of people, i'd sit down for an hour, to chill my heart away. Thinking and making some decisions in life. Sometimes, i'd even wish you are there to listen to mi.

Now, i'd ask lord, dear lord, did you ever bring the someone look-alikeable of him infront of mi again ? I couldnt get my eyes off him for few seconds, i thought that you were him, he was you. But i know 2 different people 2 different character. But somehow or rather, you & him resemblance alot to mi. Really tremedously alot. One is really good, one is i really dont know to define you good or. I've always been looking forward to what you said, one day you were telling mi about the marriage and was telling mi how you'd wanna propose to mi when we were supposed to go on holiday together. At first i'd thought it's really sweet though. Deep inside my heart, i've always acknowledge you could be the last man in my life. You always know that i prefer long term relationships over short term. But i have never ever know how you thought about. I've been certain that you are the kind of man i'd wanna get marry with but your character your attitude there's just somewhere problems with it. I hope i am really not glued into the other one. I club back like a insane clubber becos i thought i could still get over really soon, maybe i thought i'd feel better, or maybe i dont know. My wishful thought that being drunk will make you forget, but next day you'd only feel awful over those hangovers. I dont know how long more would i run away from all this. I even pondered because i terminated the other line, i was pondering did you text mi anything or. I've terminated it for nearly 1.5 month and i dont even know should i get it back or not.

2011-09-01T14:53:00.003+08:00

Time for another update. Long post ahead. :)

Done with my late brunch. Lately, i've been eating late due to overloaded works to do. :(

Anyway, long weekends last week was superb awesome & ftw ! :) I had fun with all my besties. Friday was the usual hangout at z&p with jess, but this time g came along. Yayness. And early in the morning, g suggested to go for second round at Patrick's house, so i make new friend, patrick
! Big house at serangoon area near chomp. Ha, i didnt join them the second round, i dozed off. Haha. Rushed home in the noon as it's polling day & also my tuition. I had the worst nightmare on friday, a bangala asked mi " are you free tonight " at z&p. Wtf. I scolded him off.

Sat was polling, tuition and town with g with our shag faces. Haha. Tried the new resturant at Cine, eat till bloated but their service really put mi on a frustrated mode that day, because of the server was panicking and get the wrong order for mi, oh well long story, forgive and forget. Chilling at artease and shaking and shaking listening to the songs. Muhaha. So we decided head back my home change and put down our stuffs and off we go to PH. I injured my left knee cap again or i'd say old injury acts up and it was swollen the next day.

Sunday was nothing unusual but just tuition and home i go with my favourite yummy ayam penyent for din din.

Monday was no work day for mi ! :) So took my own sweet time and head over to Audio Technica office to send my spoilt earpiece for repair. Oh well, kinda waited for some time becos i lost my receipt and they've to trace back the purchase record. Afterwhich off to school to check some details. And off to raffles place to visit auntie J. I always enjoy the chats with her. Mooncakes for her as well ! :) Tuition was last min cancelled so off to tamp to meet the cliques for dinner and coffee. Omgawd, Tamp1 there is "xiaolongbao" damn nice ttm. Shiok ! And off to Airport T1/2 for starbucks coffee with S,J,B,ZY,S. :) Madeline & java chip was the sex of the night. We were giggling and laughing damn loud and lots of stares were on us. Haha ! Home sweet home next.

Tuesday was a super funny day. Supposed to meet the J & Stanley, Kc & Jason at 9.30am and the rest as well too at Sentosa. But all of us woke up late, so im the last princess to wake up. I jumped out of bed at 9.10am. Ran to get my phone and dial for jess. And 13 missed calls from jess and 77 what's app in their group conversations. Argh, thank god my phone was left charging. 10 plus jess went around to fetch us, kc, then mi, then stan then jason and off to vivo for breakfast cum lunch at white dog cafe for their breakfast menu. Omelette, baked beans, super yummu sausages, bacon, creamy mushroom. Mad full. Then off to sentosa and everywhere is so packed and it's filled with lotsa of a.b.n.n. :\ Found a place and we settled down, but weather was not good, instead of a tan becomes rain tan. Drizzle follow by a short heavy downpour. But still we had fun, and the rasa tropical drink was super good. :) We played volleyball and bball at the beach. :) And off to vivo for Marche ! I love the most. The whole table was filled with food, rosti, yummy crepes, mushroom, pasta and some small dishes. :) Stanley were saying its like an eating day. Indeed true. Night we went geylang for tau huey and sj & mel came along. HAHA ! And KC took over the wheels to drive from Vivo to Ms to pick j's boyfee then to geylang and sent mi home after dessert.

I HAD A SUPERBBB AWESOME TUEDAY FILLED WITH JOYS & LAUGHTERS ! :)

I had a short cry at work yester after watching a drama. I know i misses you alot, but there's nothing i can do. I wanna text you but i cant, i typed on the email thinking of emailing to you, after 2 sentences, i deleted the email. Do you know how much it hurts down here ? I met someone who exactly looks like you when i see him. I know god brings you back here again, but i know it's not true. 2 different person with 2 different characters but look-alike images. I asked upon god, whats the plan ? Everyday i been pinning if you'd to be the same again when you are back from europe and apologised to mi again. But the other side of the heart i know i wont be the same anymore towards you. Everyday my mind is still filled with you. Sober to drunk to awake moment. Nothing get rid of you in my brain. It's been 2 months plus, but it felt like more than 6 months and more to mi. I just wanna be happy and smile being with you, but not fearing of you being sensitive about you or even quarrel every single day. How long would it even takes to heal i really wonder. I still like you and miss you, thats all i could really say.

2011-08-24T10:40:00.002+08:00

Hi world.
Im too lazy to update but i shall kick away my laziness and do an update.

Past few fridays with my awesome girls. :)

My all-time favourite sister-like.

Derrick "papa" & J.

I love this ttm.

The awesome girls. :)

Aftermath of high high high ~

Every week i'm looking towards to friday. After work it's a confirm for gym unless i've to OT. Home and out with my awesome girls or Bff J & the co. Our usual hang out of the place. :)

Last sat head out with g for our gelish appointment. Okay i damn love my gelish nails now. Cheap thrills and of course really worth it ! Bows on my nails. Hehe.

September is coming. So much things to do everyday. Im considering to drop my tuition on weekends or make it 1 place 1 long hour straight for tuition. Or else every 2 days i've to travel 2 different places, kinda troublesome. And school in september. Hurray !

Oh well, it's closer to 2 months now. You are gone for 2 months. But my heart kind of linger on here and there bit ? Control the misses well and it's haywired anymore. Due to too much happenings, prolly i'd say you have never love mi at all or just using mi for some instance. I dont know. Maybe all along i've been trying to trust you but to no avail. I could say that you take love like a game to you, aint serious. But the times and effort i fork out so much, really make my heart aches the most is i always ask myself, have i ever make the wrong mistake. I've always thought that my heart is confirm that you'd be the last one and someone whom i looking for in a partner. But i know my view is wrong. Somewhere goes wrong between us. To you, it may be easy as ever to let go, but i perserve on the most and to mi 2 years is not equals to nothing, but to mi it meants alot.

So much things i did left unsaid to you. I type it out and i erased it in my phone.

I believe this is the wise decision you make and of course it's god's will.

2011-08-15T16:39:00.002+08:00

Scream it out loud and spell it B-O-R-E-D.

So effing cold in the office despite i've adjusted the temperatur of the aircon. I'm like having nothing much to do. Most of it completed last week.

Okay im seriously so mad bored.

On and off, my focus is diverted to somewhere. Sometimes i really wonder where you are right now. Alot of questions pondering on mind. Last night i'm like suffering from insomnia. I dont wanna think but it's like stuck in my mind. Oh well, what more can i say.

And tuition with nich later. Please let 2 hours passes by faster so that i can go home rest, tv and sleep.

Bye world.

2011-08-15T13:12:00.002+08:00

Hi earthlings. I've an awesome weekends with awesome peeps. :)

Friday was z&p, thanks to long island tea. Muhaha. I make a lot of fool of myself. Funny smses. LOL. Great night i'd say. Hehe.

Sat was Niam's 21st. Went to collect the awesome cake at V's house and went over to Niam's pit. Yay, thumbs up for the awesome cake by the theme " back to childhood days. "

The "bird" day boy. :)

After bbq, tcc @ airport with the cliques for some chilling session. Never failed to fill with laughters.

Sunday was collecting baggu day, yay finally arrive. Happygirl.com. :) Then tuition and J came over to pick mi up and off to airport to pick jason and off to OC for some shiok japanese food @ Ootaya Japanese resturant. I'd say thumbs up. Super big serving. The 3 Js were dragging the whole body out. Muhaha. I'd wanna visit again. Yay !

Okay it's a cold monday. So fast weekends is over, and we are unreluctant to welcome weekdays. :(

I'm looking forward to weekends. Hello weekends i'm waiting. Prolly another round of z&p with the girls on friday. Hehe. Maybe maybe, simply can't wait.

2011-08-12T17:20:00.002+08:00

TGIF !

Everyday i'm dreaming dreaming, hehe i could drive. Okay this is self deceiving. Next month i'd start. Aim is by end dec i could officially drive. Don't ask why im so excited to drive, more like eager. I remb, the day i went for my FTT, i was so blur like a sotong, remb the joy inside mi when it stated on the screen " PASSED. " Haha.

8 more mins to knock off from work and say hello weekend i'll adore you. Haha. Hitting the gym later. Every friday routine. :)

I'm kind of reluctant to join the rest for z&p tonight. Uh oh, i shouldnt be so evil and make this last minute decision, J will kill mi for sure. Hehe. Tmr is sat, sleep and rest. Gonna sent my jeans for alteration. Please jasmin, dont rot at home, die die must go. Haha. And JN's 21st bday celebration. Im gonna collect the 21st cake for the boy, theme: Back to childhood. I bet V gonna make an awesome cake. Wee wee wee !

If sun is good tmr, i must decide a place for a good tanning session. My tan is fading off. I wanna hit sentosa but i'm kinda feeling ... heading there alone. Haha. Let's see how.

Okay last minute rush of work and i bid goodbye work and welcome weekends. :)

2011-08-11T09:49:00.002+08:00

It's been long months i last updated. But im so dread out to do so. Literally i dont have the energy to do so, or should i say err no mood. But prolly listing out here i could feel better.

Many things happen for some reasons. A broken heart in despair. Ha. I could say i've been wanting to let go, but why i dont feel a bear for it. A lot of things sort of left unsaid. Characters cannot match. When i thought back of how he ever treated mi, i was kinda cant believe in myself. Things just kept dragging it for like years. Not to exaggerate, it's 2 years. On off like that. Nothing much of good memories but more of quarrels. To be frank, i know that i truly love him, but he'd tends to take things for granted on my side. Giving in on one sided is so tough. Things he do, things he said, one day to the end he can eventually said nothing. I dont understand the last part you did to mi, i just never will understand prolly whats the meaning but instead make it feel more harder or more firm to let go. Aint sure of it. If police can solve everything, why rake it up now ? I keep hanging on down here awaiting for one more day. Been the only one waiting to talk to you, you dont think likewise but you think things in your own manner, how could we ever communciate.

This time, i learnt a lesson. The more you tends to give in to someone, what more could you even expect for return, nothing. At this stage i'm walking on, i';m still trying to let go, if only using an eraser can erase away everything in my brain cells isnt it.

Looking forward to " i could driveee. " And finally after 2 years of struggling and suffering like that, it's gone now for good. And i'm getting back to school to pursue my studies further. Say hello to ' KA-CHING' to earn more in future. And bye august, wake mi up when Sept comes. Haha.

Studies, Overseas trip, driving and being happy is my important list of must-do.

If you could rip open my heart, i'd be frank to tell you, i truly love and cherish. You are always being self centred. Falling in love with you is not easy. But alot of things is just left like that, you dont even bother. I've my own reasons to stop certain things, but you dont have limits. You'd tends to ask for more from mi, but im sorry i couldnt afford the way you wanted.

2011-01-09T17:45:00.002+08:00

Hellos Sunday, i don't like yester saturday.

Movie outing with the co. cancelled so went party with the girlfs instead @ powerhouse. But power to the ultra max. 2 fights broke out within minutes. LOL. Im not a hooligan, first fight i attempt to stop it but end up this fucking jerk punched mi on my neck make mi blow hot on temper and wanna punched him real hard too. FML. Random guys helped us out and 1st fight stop. 2nd fight broke out again on podium. Seriously it's damn hilarous la. But kinda fuck up too. Long story and police came. Only hear what we say and jotted down our particulars. Poor d lost her phone during the fight. Seriously your friend suddenly got whack and who won't help your own good friend. Im trying to stop the fight yet nothing good. I got so hot on temper, oh so sorry i fought back too. HAHAHAHA. It was seriously in a gigantic mess la ! LOL.

Home-d at 6plus in the morning. So damn shag right now.

I can't imagined what happen last night, think back of it i find it super interesting. LOL. But karma will strike the badies for sure. HAHAHAHAH.

Somehow one text from you ruined my entire mood. Don't order mi to do what i shouldn't be doing anymore. And thanks for 3 words stupid making mi more determined in my decision. I won't regret but you will pay for what you do. Im not a heartless creature but i know very well how many times of chances i give. I only wanna be happy thats all.

Well, a new week is gonna begin ! Hope new week ahead goes well ! :)

2011-01-08T14:47:00.003+08:00

Saturday ! Heading movie with the damai co tonight. :)

Im effing excited. Good news, i found a new job as Account admin. Super looking forward to it. Hopefully they can let mi delay a few more days to start work pleaseeeeeeeeee. Im looking for part-timer to take over my current job. I need hire one within this few dayssss !

Time check, not yet 3pm. Felt as though now 5pm already. Time flies by so slow. :( Im feeling sleepy after my brunch. And CNY is round the corner. Effing excited and days of steamboat ! WEEEEEEEEE ~ And i can see many many relatives too ! And not to forget, ANGBAOS ! Please be more this year. HAHAHAHAHAH.

Sometimes i felt like a fool waiting and waiting again. But once again, i'd need to try harder still. If it's worth waiting, lord will guide mi so.

2011-01-01T16:42:00.002+08:00

Say hello to 2011, goodbye to 2010.

Put behind what is unwanted to be kept behind in 2010 and enjoy a new year ahead with a fresh new start.

Officially 21 years old now. :) Photos to say it all on my 21st bday bash on 26 dec @ ECP.

Enjoyed my 21st to the fullest. Thanks to all who wishes mi and those awesome present though. Love it ttm.

Yester went to countdown to year 2010 with damai co. WEEEEEE ! To marina to watch the 8 mins fireworks. It's awesome ttm ! :) Afterwhich to HK cafe for sinful supper. Rp & the co came over and chat chat awhile. Left and walk a long distance to lavender mrt and we got a cab like finally. Home sweet home at 4am plus. MAD TIRED.

Today it's 1.1.11 day ! It's a boring sat and i guess everyone stay indoor today. :(

Happy new year to all of you !

2010-12-24T16:12:00.002+08:00

Time flies. Had been too low mood to update blog.

Today is merry xmas eve. Im not feeling overjoyed like before or looking forward to xmas. I used to remb, when i was young, i was effing enthu on xmas eve, i don't remb where which part of town they'll actually snow. Well, it's not snow though but more like white bubbles foam. I'll keep pestering my dad bring mi go there i want go i want go. And out of random, this very once on xmas eve, he actually said he's bringing mi to orchard. So i was so excited and i went. My dad was standing by the side letting mi enjoy myself. LOL. Thats like how many years has passed.

This year, i don't feel like xmas at all. Down down down. But 2 more days to my big day party. Got so much things to do and buy and do and buy. Mad tired. But i'm eager to see all the guests. :)

After so long of endurance, i believe this is finally gonna give up. It dwells deep inside my heart and i no longer wish to bother anymore. I'll pick up steps by steps. I'll remb how harsh you can be. Thers's simply no trust between us, nor communciation. I dont see any point at all after s0 much tries. Life ahead just gonna be better.

Joyous xmas to all ! :)

2010-12-04T15:55:00.002+08:00

Woohoo, my internet is finally okayyyy le. Waited for like 1 week plus, damn that my bro's stupid selling fruit friend. ARGH, always never pay bills end up my internet is down. Im using the adapter too, i dont know why my bro took from him and even paid him monthly yet every month i sort of encounter such thing. Can die laaaaaaa. FML.

Anyway, tons of updates. But i'll make it short, cos i'm lazy ! :\

Lately, met up with Sh & Qh @Noble house located at Shenton Way for Wenhui's wedding dinner. Sup, it was great cos it's tunglok resturant ! :) Pictures to say it all.

Yester helped out the D&E held at Grandhyatt Hotel as coordinator. At first i thought it's gonna be hard but well i'd say still alright. Lasted till 10plus. Mad famished and head to find him for din din. Didn't ate much cos it's late already though.

I wanna got tanning soon man. But it's been raining and raining so badly & i'm so busy working away. Finally not to be forgotten too, it's DEC already ! Many festive seasons and my 21st Birthday Bash. Effing excited. Response still not very good yet despite sending out invitations already. :(( Okay i'm still waiting. Rp & Alice can't go becos they're in overseas. Sad big time seriously. But Alice is gonna meet mi next week, :).

What a bored saturday today, the crowd don't seems to be good leeeeee. Feeling cold too. Seriously i need more fleas right now, i'm kinda gonna declare broke sial ! I wanna shop and shop and shop ! HAHAHAHAHA.

And FML badly, my FTT is like 5 MORE DAYYYYYSSSS ! And i'm not putting much effort into it, how ??!! Okay la, shall continue mugging it right now !

Bye world.

2010-11-21T18:27:00.002+08:00

RUN FOR HOPE 2010 @ECP.

BRENDA, JASLYN, SHERLYN, ANGEL, MI, STACEY, WEIWEN. :]

Woke up superrr early this morning. Thank god to my fake boyf, ah heng ! :) Morning call mi at 6.30am.

Off to ECP join the co. at lagoon food village. Sunny day, LOVE ! :) Sher was late and super funny, she mistaken the place thought it was held at Changi V. HAHAHAHA. Run starts and we runnnnnn. Okay, im like a lazy bum. Really no stamina le, really oldddddd le. :( WW kept naggginggggg and pushing mi, " GOGOGOGOGOGO ! " Seriously mad tired. So i got separated and run on my own throughout the 4km. I met funny people during the run. And i think it's a CC outing for certain CC, so the big crowd was blocking the runner's path. :\ And i came across this chubby little boy, he was scolding his dad.

Chubby boy : I told you already eat breakfast what, now my stomach is so pain and hungry.

Chubby boy's dad : Okay okay come come.

Chubby boy : You see la, why cant we eat first then run what.

Chubby boy's dad : Later you eat already then you run your stomach will be pain.

Chubby boy : We can eat what then run lor.

The chubby boy was seriously cuteeee.

After the run, we boarded heng's lorry and headed over to siglap then to bedok inter for breakfast cum early lunch. Over capacity of people, 14 people on board. HAHAHAHA. So mad hungry & tired. Dragged my body and crawl home. HAHAHAHA. Had a short while nap and was disturbed my jimmylim. :(

Took half day off today. So before i head for work, in order to perk myself up, i die die travelled to Rpc to buy gongcha, Honey milk tea with azuki beans. :) HAHAHAHAHA. I shall head home and sleep early tonight. IM SO MAD TIREDDDDD.

Okay off to buy my dinner. HUNGRY TTM.

Bye world.

2010-11-19T19:49:00.000+08:00

2010-11-19T19:21:00.002+08:00

I'm whining whining whining like AN AUNTIE. Becos i got no mood to study for my FTT which is already round the corner. God bless mi seriously cos i did not put efforts.

Mad boring today and adding to this severe diarrhoea. Cos ive been eating spicy food. LOL. I can't wait for Dec to be arrive. I cant wait for my 21st birthday bash. I cant wait for a new year to start too ! Effing excited. Yay ....

One mind at this state is so tired out from everything. Everytime you tried to tell mi you love mi but i cant accept it i cant bring myself to trust you. Is it truly my problem or ? I just hated so much things you do that im afraid to accept you. Maybe lord could give mi the time that i really required though. I only hope you can stop doing what i madly dislike.

I can't wait for time to flyyyyyy. I wanna eat prata prata prata prata ....

And im in love with this song, Parachute - Winterlove.

Bye world.

2010-11-17T17:24:00.002+08:00

HOLLLLAAAAAA ! Back to update this space. Ive been lazy and tired to uodate for the past few days despite i'm facing my laptop. HAHAHAHAHA.

Recently, last saturday went to have a flea @ THE FLYER. Taxi uncle dropped us at the wrong side yet mi & yun have to walk like from one end to the other end. I tell you the weather is freaking HOT TTM. We were holding and carrying big heavy stuffs. DAMN ! And worst perspiring. ARGH. We find a table ourself at the other end of the big hall. Got aircon. When it was mad crowded, the aircon is like got or don't have no difference. Freaking hot ! But sales were VERY THE GOOD ! HAHAHAHAH. Drank the I LOVE TAIMEI bubble tea but the honey lemon not nice cos it taste like some weird drink. OOPS. And mi and yun forgottten to eat RAMBLY BURGER. HAHAHAHAHA. I was so mad happy hit my sales target of $7XX +++. Mad happy. But my stocks like no more soon, HOW LE ? :( After flea, went back to promenade and off to MS to HKC for late dinner. Yummy ! :)

I SERIOUSLY WANNA GO FLB FLEAS AGAIN SIAL. & THIS TIME DIE DIE I MUST FIND MY NECKLACE. ARGH.

Today is public holiday. Work. Stay at home also boring what. HAHAHAHAHA. But also kinda boring here. Leon called and he's in town and fucking tempt mi with GONGCHA milktea when my mind did think about it. LOL. Hopefully he drop by and surprise mi LA. But i believed he's fucking lazy and wont come equals to no GONGCHA. HAHAHAHAHA.

I'm so mad BORING, so i played with my photobooth.

Still effing boring sial. :( There's a mini food pasar malam downstairs. HEHEHEHEHE. And tonight dinner shall be junk food. HOHOHOHO.

My ftt exam is like about 3 weeks away i guess. Yet i haven't really start to read much or study much. Die liao la this time, ive got a feeling i might need to retake which i DON'T WISH SO. LOL. But i must pray and study hard and stop rotting away. FML.

Okay shall go downstairs see seee buy buy yummy food. HAHAHAHAHAH.

Bye world.

2010-11-09T20:32:00.002+08:00

Done with my delicious dinner not long ago. :) Freezing cold down here.

Woke up early just for the sake to step into the shop to talk things out with that supplier. If i've got another chance, i don't mind giving a damn hard punch right on that cheenah bitch face. Damn _|_ ! Drop it, think of her damn face seriously it makes my blood boils. ARGH. Well, seriously i think waste of my time. Not any much help and wasted my time standing down there listen to their shits. Aww, why not just call mi and just confirm only one shit then. FML with these cheenahs. Left since i don't have any much help. LOL.

Yester night your pretence is there again. It make mi feel angry and nonetheless disappointed. Just felt that you are like a magnet clinging on. I had enough with all this money issue. Sometimes i feel that i'm more like a mother feeding a kid. But im not a mother, to you i'm more like a stranger. All i can do is stop between us. I believe my emotional state couldnt control and tolerate any further. I needed more time as before to calm myself down.

Gonna vacuum the place before i leave. My eyes is still damn sore red. Whats up with it man ! It irritates mi alot. And i shall start packing for the accessories and do what's neccessary for this coming saturday flea. Cant wait for it, cos i want more KA-CHING KA-CHING ! I'm sort of broke i think. LOL.

PS : I'm too lazy to reply to texts despite my mood is really down. So pardon mi for late replies or so. :)

Bye world.

Gonna have a beautiful day tmr.

2010-11-08T21:00:00.004+08:00

Knocking off from work after this post. :)

Yester night was indeed a battling night. FML seriously. Starts at 9pm drag and drag till 9.30pm. Seriously i feel wtf. Can rank up and past issues that is ALREADY OVER and wanna find trouble more. Refused to pay mi for my last 5 days work kept talking cock this that this that. If you are not honest and wanna rank up and said too much nonsense to mi, then i'm sorry 2 cheenah fuckers, i won't give you a damn to anything. I don't behave like myself yester and seriously i flare up and almost got into a fight with the cheenah bitch. Making both look like hooligans. Wtf ! I cant stand that cheenah bitch throughout that 2 hours process of battling. I missed the chance when i'm so in rage of anger to give her a hard punch in her face. But i swallow this anger and tell myself ' come on jasmin, chill ! there'll be a better way to come up with to deal with this kind of person isnt it ? " In the end, the both 2 cheenahs seriously GG, you still gotta pay mi cos i wont give mercy to you guys when you both dont even hold a certified PR over here. Ive tolerated for the past months and doesnt mean i'll let you both climb over my head. Fuck up to the maxcore shits face. Received the cheenah bitch sms today, come on you think i give a damn ? I kinda thinking why not i don't turn up. I shall play a prank on you, swee bo ? What happen last night seriously make mi pissed off and don't even wanna step in and see their faces.

Seriously, i think boxXXXX is the worst concept in SG that i ever worked. Poor business functions and no sense of responsibility. Arrogant and self-think too high of themselves. Fuck up i can say ! :)

Im sort of ranting out how i still feel about over yester. I should be knocking off but i insist to blog before i go. Well, yester i finally hear from you. Doesnt make mi ever feel good anymore. I only can say i'm total disappointed with you. Probably we don't suits at all and we are fated to be. You don't know how to appreciate mi and so i do seriously. I never had such a awful feeling and loads of distrust towards someone. Maybe this is what i could say this is god decision and path of way for mi.

Okay gonna pack up & leave. Nights world.

Tmr will be a better day, AMEN.

2010-11-07T16:46:00.005+08:00

This space feels so empty. Shall do a update. :)

Life is truly up & down like a merry coaster ride in the year 2010. I don't like it but still life has to carry on. :( Im gonna fight hard against each setback.

Feeling deeply bad down inside my heart but i kept telling myself come on stand back on track. And one thing that seriously make mi entirely flared up is WORK ! :\ Suck big time seriously working under 2 cheenah CB bosses. Finally i'm out of it but im going down for another session of battle, way to go ! Cos i don't think im in fault becos i didn't say any contract so for the sake of you being nasty to mi, i shall be the one nasty to you double. :)

Currently helping out at Ss's shop. Really a coincidence. But it's great though. Month of Nov is indeed a busy month. I wanna filled my days with something that i can busy with so that i wont resort to anyhow thinking. LOL.

And i really don't know why lately my eyes wake up till now keep feeling like sore & red eyes. Lord, please heal my eyes. Aww i felt that its seriously bad. Or i should go for a check up. :(

See ! My left eye is red ! ARGHHHH. And i wanna slim down. Wtf, eat less le ! I wanna buy more and more pretty clothes once i get rid of my way exploded wardrobe. HAHAHAHAHA.

Time please pass by faster !

Sometimes i tell myself what is really going wrong. But i hope this time round god is leading mi to the right track.

Bye world.

2010-08-02T02:04:00.002+08:00

Another brand new start of a month. August. Have been real busy with work and personal issues.

I've truck loads to say much stuffs but well i dont have the mood to write it out. Fml. My legs are feeling wobbily. Jelly legs. :(

A short update though, i finally curl off my hair, goodbye to the curls. Kinda waste money but no choice cos hard to maintain. And work is tiring. Ah shucks, ive no mood to write out.

All i can say i felt super lost. Certain things done i just wished it could erase off. I'm so tired of the thoughts. Lord, i needa your help to help mi pull through. I seriously feel shitty throughout all this. Damn !

I will update again when i'm seriously feeling better.

Bye world.

2010-07-07T00:51:00.002+08:00

It's 1am now, so fast. I'm satisfied with my day today.

Awoke in the late morning and off to prepare and head to chop off my fringe and trim my eyebrow. Satisfied. Then head over to comfort delgro driving centre for taking up BTT. Yay. Finally ! :) Afterwhich head to bugis. Had my favourite noodle over at my favourite Wongkok resturant. Well, i used to bring him there and he like the steak. :( After brunch, went walk around while waiting for the time to come. Tanning was g0ood. Reddish. Woah ! And shopped like a princess. Just wanna relax and spent what how much i could spare. :) Charles & keith, Topshop, diva, faceshop and more. It was great. At least i can put a smile on my face. Saving up to get a damn good watch & my long long wanted chanel bag. :] Evening headed over to tampines to meet my boyf, heng. :) Pepper lunch for dinner, and watched knight & day. Popcorns is the sex. HAHAHAH. Rating for the show : 4.5/5. Thumbs up. Nice and funny. After movie, walked around and bought my mosturizer cream. Awesome. Bus ride home.

My super unglam sunburn face. I hope it's not that painful tmr. I looked like a roasted porkie. HAHAHAHA.

You run high run low, i will chase after you. I miss you super lots. I may wait i may not. I only could let god decide the fate.

TGIW tmr ! Gotta get over to the bookstores tmr to get my theory booklets. STUDY TIME ! HAHAHAHA.

Off to pack my bag & sleep early for the day. Night world ! :]

2010-07-06T00:30:00.002+08:00

Hellos world.

I've been real lazy to update this space often. Even though i switch on the lappie at work. Well, ive so much to say seriously.

Last sat, went to meet KH for a short date. Brunch @ ajisen then off to meet the girls at Raffles city. Headed over to watch NDP rehearsal @ padang. First time watching it under the rain and wearing raincoat. HAHAHAHA. Like back to childhood days i love to wear raincoat. HAHAHA. Not that nice this year rehearsal. Or maybe it's just rehearsal so wont be that nice. Afterwhich headed over to one fullerton for starbucks. Then waited for rock & his friend to come and off to butter for the night. Lychee martini, martel & chivas. High high high. Was kinda tipsy but still fine. Phone batt dead to the maxcore. Sad. I saw BRIAN @ work. I thought which dye hair boy come towards mi wave. I was stunned. LOL. Club till closing. Then off to Lau pa sat eat cos famished. Nice. I waited for a cab home for 45 mins. No choice i dial for cab cos my body run out of energy. When i got home, charge my phone and immediately off to bathe. After done i was surprised to see my phone texts.

You said those in texts, you left mi in deep thoughts. You may love mi i really got no idea. I dont know what to do nor choose. Despite i replied you but so, the silence continues. When i set my heart trying my best not to think to let go, you came back telling mi such things. I may still love you so much to the extent, but i cant decide what i want. Felt that this thoughout is so messy to the maxcore. I felt like a loser crying @ my workplace for that moments yester. I ponder whats wrong. Why is it so heartbreaking ? Nuts. I wish you could be more frank telling mi certain things. Im seriously dead confused between us. I wish time could really tell it all.

Time to hit the sack. Off day tmr. Gonna head to do my stuffs and meet up with my fake boyf for movie. Craving for pepper lunch. :)

Tmr just gotta be a better day. :]

2010-07-02T15:52:00.007+08:00

Earthlings ! Today is another day freezing cold again. Hellos stop raining le rain god ? HAHAHAHA. Had mee hoon kuey for lunch becos early morning wake up go over CP with GoldHuiyun and i got crave for it. But i had it @ FEP one. Different super much from CP. Craving for CP arnold chicken too & make mi thought of those times i had it with him too. :( Bought a new wedge & a maxi dress. HOHOHO.No clothes to wear already. Cheap thrill. HAHAHAHA.

I'm freezing freezing freezing. I'm so bored as well. HEHEHEH. Camwhore camwhore. I love macbook camera cos got many effects. HAHAHAHA. Pardon my unglamness. :)

Okay i'm so duper bored seriously. Despite the weather is cold, but i've got craving for Ben&Jerry chocolate fudge brownie ice-cream. HAHAHAHAH. Other than online, nothing more to do. BORED BORED BORED. I'ts only 5pm now. The time passed by is super SLOWWWW today. And i'm feeling kinda sleepy.

Splits moments, i thought of you. Still of the last text. I'm just letting every minute passing away becos i really cant decide. Sort of bury with fear. Dont wish to think much or further though.

Okay shall go hunt for maybe bit more nice rings online. Waiting for my shipment to be received. Yay ! :]

2010-07-01T21:08:00.002+08:00

Hellos World. Current status - working & feeling freezing cold. HAHAHAH.

The rain god dislike mi today. :( Upon reaching town, first go over to OCBC bank to settle some stuffs. Done and off to FEP. Needa walk over from wismaatria to FEP luh. Then it rains. Hellos rain why ?! :(( HAHAHA. First no shelter, second no shelter. As if like though must undergo many stages. So i looked at my watch ' late sial ! " HAHAHAHA. So i ran pass. Okay bloddy bitches block my way walking fucking slow. KNN ! @#$%^&* So i'm more drenched than what i expected. THANK A YOU LA BITCHES. :| Okay fine. So i have to undergo the second no shelter. Then i paused cos i'm drenched and my life of my MACBOOK is in my hands. Thank god ! :/ So i only GG lor, wait for the rain to get smaller. Despite waiting less than 5 mins, one super pretty chio lady ask wanna share umbrella together. Okay thank god you see kind souls for the day. HAHAHAH.

Freezing freezing cold today despite my cardigan is on. Im wearing maxi somemore. Full body covered. HAHAHA. Well, stomach for the day is ill. :( Lunch @ 4 plus pm. Pontian wanton noodle is SHIOK & LOVE ! :DDD Dinner was 1 banana & my favourite agar agar jelly. Yummy. Well, teeth is itchy today so i've lakerols lychee to keep my day sweet. :)

Time to head home now & leave this freezy work place. HEHEHEHE.

Yester you send mi hells of texts. Idk why i got pissed but i really dont know what i wanted. The last text you gave left mi super deep in thoughts. It's the matter of time god will bring mi to choose the right decision.

2010-06-30T02:00:00.002+08:00

At this hour still i'm not sleeping yet. Having a lil msn chat with Daph. 2 night owls that can't get to sleep yet. Well, i was browsing through FB and was super duper stunned about ... I got SHOCKED, SUPRISED AND ALL. I cant say much right. :( LOL.

Past 2 days were alright meeting up Junie & Daph @ CP for catch up & dinner. Then home sweet home. Tmr is Wednesday and it's the last day over @ raffles. Gotta bring myself away from where he came by before and move on. Silly much but i miss him waiting outside sitting down wait for mi end work and had dinner together. Can time rewinds back ?

Last day of the month. A brand new month starts again. July july ! I cant wait to go JB and just out of the country to relax.

How long i can learn to move on how long i maybe waiting i don't know. Life is unpredictable. Deep down maybe you still care bit and there, you dont show. After so many ups & downs we had, i could understand who and how you are. I hope time passes, things could change and be better. Becos right now my heart still never stop beating for you. I miss you so much that ive so much to tell you but not at this time. :(

It'll be a better day tmr. AMEN !

2010-06-27T19:21:00.002+08:00

Super duper cold sunday. Spell it B-O-R-E-D ! :/ Still craving for last night the cheesecake cafe - CHESSECAKE ! It's simply awesome to the maxcoreeeeeee. :DDD HAHAHAHA. Despite it's exp, but i love the atmosphere & the food. Awaiting for my heng boyf to be back from genting and i could tell her about it and we could head there for a romantic date. HAHAHAHAHA.

So bored today. Ive so much things to update but then i'm really lazy to type it out. LOL. I can't wait for BALI trip to be here. I suppose HK trip is cancelled. Cos due to the high expenses. No ! HAHAHAHA. Cos i still want my chanel bag hopefully before end of Dec. HEHEHEHE. As long as we can be out of SG take the plane or go DFS i happy already. Tiffany&co neckie wait for mi. HAHAHA.

Anyway, i guess i wont update this space too often unless i on my laptop. And the fucking iphone cannot type in blogger. Something not right i guess. And ive yet to install my newest software for my iphone. Soon i'll do it. HAHAHAH.

But still, you can still follow mi on my updates at

-http://ajoyridetoheaven.tumblr.com/. :)

Okay, off for my dinner. Yummy chicken chop noodle soup. HEHEHEH. Famished to death. :(

Bye world.

2010-06-27T03:32:00.005+08:00

Hellos World !

Seriously its been so damn long i last updated this space. It seems so dead. Time check now is 3.44am. Not gonna update everything right now cos it's late and i needa get to bed and sleep. HAHAHAHA. Will be back to update about past times and all. HEHEHE.

Life is really fully UPS & DOWNS !

Still, i'll be more frequent to be on tune to facebook or twitter probably 24/7. If you do have twitter, do follow mi. :]

- http://twitter.com/onebigheaven -

Off to hit the sack, goodnights world ! :)

HAPPY 20TH BIRTHDAY TO MY LOVELY ANGELINE.LEE ! :D

2010-05-01T15:15:00.003+08:00

Sometimes i don't understand why must life filled with ups & downs. Can anybody tell mi why ? Maybe it'll help us grow up more and maybe this are all experiences i guess. Well lately life is really so up & down. Tends to keep it inside my heart not tell anyhow how badly it feels. But last evening, i broke down on the phone to Junie. It's kind of unbearable feeling anymore. But i do feel a lil better though.

Past few days have been busy. Work and help out at dad's shop. Yester he wind up the business already. Probably they will seek into a new business again or what, idk. And had a lil catch up Leon and Kianheng at 313 somerset lately. Nice catchup and a short fun time. I like ! And few days back was company dinner to celebrate Bobo's birthday. :) Dinner buffet at this Grand Orchard Court at Killiney road. Then to Corpthone Orchid hotel for Karoake session. Lol, i don't sing. 10plus left with uncle rony as i want to catch my show on TV. And yester was met up with Junie & Daphne at Cityplaza. Then dinner at KFC and home sweet home.

Today is Labour day for not really everyone. And it's start of a new month again. I'll move on slowly and get back on feet. And this month is filled with lots of 21st birthday parties ! And i'm also turning 21 at the end of the year. HEHEHEHE.

Probably this relationship was filled with full of lies. I cannot accept one who comes and go in this life for lots of countless times. This time you said was your army to taiwan. I bet you are lying again. Called but your ringing tone still in SG. Its fine if you wanna reject i can't say anything. For the past weeks becos of money reasons you were unreasonable enough. Your unreasonable demands, your misunderstanding, your lack of understanding in everything you can blame its all my faults. I believe god could see your actions in everything. You've a pair of hands and legs, i don't like the full relying on mi. So what i'm a full time worker before, one will get tired from work. I choose to do what i want becos right in the first place whatever i do never affects you. Probably this is the grave mistake i ever choose being with you. You are not fit to be like a boyf or neither you do. I'll have strong determination in myself move on. If this taiwan trip you told mi was one month, i''ll try my best this one month to forget everything.

It's time to move on then staying floating there. We're wasting our time together despite.

Tomorrow is a better day i suppose. :)

Today is Saturday, heading to meet Stacey first probably then head to Junxiong's 21st birthday ! :)

Off to prepare !

2010-04-17T19:23:00.003+08:00

HOLLA !

It's been ages i last blog. Here i am, back again to ramble ! Stay tune. :)

Last post was as at January. Okay have been really busy. Life is always up & down. Happy & Sad but strictly no EMO okay. HAHAHAH.

No longer working in inQbox. Some management problems between the boss and the management therefore we left. Okay seriously suck a big thumb, it was really a pity. I MISS WORKING OVER THERE. Had fun & joy with the people there. :( First week of march we left inQbox. :( If only we could work again together. Well, rested for about a week and then being nag to find job. And i found one. Currently working part-time at some italy jewellery shop. Still able to adapt there. Auntie Jennifer was great, she taught mi alot of stuffs. Fun & interesting i'd say. Working around CBD area. HEHEHE ! I like it cos the food there is awesome. Teehee ~ But saw many SI BEI act de OL ( OFFICE LADIES ! ).

Recently met up with the TaiTais. Fun indeed. Despite time spent is short but we enjoyed. Only Angel, Brenda & Huizhen turn up. :( Had brunch over @ Heeren de Shokudo. NICE ! THUMBS UP ! :DDD

Simple shopping at COACH, thanks to Brenda for the big TEMPT ! Wanted to get the Fred perry bag instead but the rest disallowed mi. :| HAHAHA.

And last week saturday, actually intending to stay home and rot. But Ernest called and persuade mi to head over to Ruipeng's chalet. Okay good friend still. If im not turning up means no give " Face. " LOL. Had fun with the co, Ruipeng the bday boy, zhenhong, Jarrod ( forever si bei nonsense boy ), Ian, Yuhao and Leon came afterwards. Drink drank drunk ! Poker card games. Interesting. Not those Dai Di games or what. More interesting ones. Thanks Zhenhong very the much for picking that " QUEEN " Card repeatedly. As i was the only female there, so whoever pick the " Q " card, the ladies will drink. And hey it was mi constantly drinking and not the bday boy ! F. I was real " SENG ". Its been so long though. Becos i quitted clubbing for quite long leh ! :))

Here are 3 photos we took using my polariod.

Today is a boring Saturday though. Sometimes have or dont have boyf it makes no any difference. It just gave mi more and more problems non-stop. Bloody shitty though. Don't know what's the fuck damn problem with such guys at times. SUCK BIG THUMD ! :/ Cant be bothered much though.

It's 8pm now. Should i head to buy my dinner ? So lazy can. Havent bathe still. Teehee ! Weekends lately just seems so boring to mi. :(

Okay going to do some other things before i head to bathe. Byeeee !

Will update when there's time. :)

2010-01-19T00:25:00.003+08:00

Sneeze sneeze sneeze. That F. blocked nose make mi extremely uncomfortable. :| And this week tuesday i've no off day. Gotta replace and work. And and and i'm gonna face that make mi go mad woman. FML.

Today is working with her. Still it pissed mi off. I can't stand her totally can't. Whenever i speak to someone either supplier or whoever, she wanna make herself a leg to stand in. F ! Feel like giving her a tight slap ask her shut up becos i'm extremely irritated. It's like whatever people talk about, she don't even know wanna act she know. Okay this is fuck up. More worse is i finally completed my work about 2/3 done, so went ahead to get my healthy meal. Bitch to the max can. Now i understand how C. feels when in there you're eating and someone seems to camp there peeping you eating. Seriously i feel jinx. Ahhh ! Had a quite finish of my meal becos its way damn irritating. The moment i step out the storeroom, she don't feel any paiseh at all please immediately step in after i step out. Wtf ?!

The worse is i'm working full shift tmr and i'm gonna see HERR and working still with her only ! FML TO THE MAX ! :/ Sean, drop by again like today seek her attention to you ! HAHAHA ! Seriously she's pissing mi off upon seeing her. And it's real f.up ! Well, 2 hours helping out z. with her display and all. There she goes with her f. nonsense. Z. and i was kinda bitching abit becos z. don't really like her either. Man, i'd rather work alone tmr than with her. Shucks ! Okay, i'm just dislike her working attitude and all. I couldnt seems to work with her. I rather keep shut do my work and don't talk to her other than asking mi related work stuffs please. But she can't keep quiet. Goodness, i'm going haywired mad ! Okay this is life, take it or leave it.

And while waiting for bus home, i dropped my iphone. F.t,t.m can. I hope it's okay. Lol. And i don't know how to jailbreak. Awaiting for Patrick to tell mi soon soon soon cos there's many things i can do with it after jailbreak.

Straight 3 days of full shifts, thumbs up ! :| Sillyb having tests and mugging real hard too. Pass with flying colours. :]

Okay heading to bed now. Goodnights. :)

2010-01-16T23:19:00.003+08:00

Just got back home from work. A lil tired but will rush up on more emails abit here and there and retreat to bed.

Thanks Angel for the concern. Loves ! Thanks StacK for the listening ear and text, i'll try ya ! :) Thanks yun'baby for the listening ear and everything though. Catch up super real soon. :)

Today work was busy. That f. new comer is getting on my nerves. I never scolded anyone at work before but she's the first. Talk cock with mi and all. Wtf. She simply getting on everyone's nerve though. Moreover thinking on every mon im going work with her, my goodness. Can i change someone else or better it'd be great if ahlim remain Sean still. I'd go insane on every mon. F ! And Leon texted and rang him back. Peeps, i miss going back to PL with you guys hanging out. Leon went alone ! :| And bestie.keong gave mi a big shock. He came visited. A pity im just at work. I wanna just be away for the time being and back to old times with you guys.

Somehow it felt alil empty for that moment. Im gonna move on still. I don't want return still unless you changed how i see in you. Perhaps i've waited for very long. Id have so much say how much i prefer this over that, how much i prefer moving on than returning to this hurt you brought mi. Nothing could change the fact nor you could continue pretending that today is just alright. Just like riding on merry-go-round, it won't go round and round forever, it'll stop and next new riders will ride on again. I feel it is dying soon and soon in the heart. Right from start i've choosen not to trust you and still i won't. Everything will change again !

Back to do some work and get to sleep. I've real bad puffy eyes. Jinx. And tmr is morning shift with my favourite jas'mama. She's gonna morning call in the morning tmr. And and and i'm going on a fruity and porridge diet. I'm gonna prove myself to you. Be a strong woman indeed. :) And lastly i miss standing in the house of god becos i'd feel refresh once again after being hurt and all. I'll continue walking with the faith of god.

Goodnights world. :]

2010-01-16T13:24:00.004+08:00

I don't know how to describe how i felt right now. I just can't stop crying. I just wanna let out.

Everytime i fall sick, you're always not here. I admit the fact. Take it today, you ain't here but gave mi utterly nonsense again. I admit it. But i couldn't admit one thing is what you said in the last few texts. I am gonna run away as far as i could from you. Loving someone does it matter with the looks and all ? Why can't he understand i'm just very tired just cannot understand i'm sick today. I didn't gave him empty promises. I did all my best i could. Whats so good demanding more. No breakfast least i could still make it for lunch. Would any boyf give any task, you failed to do it, initiate the breakup ? Wtf is this. The game you been long looking for, i said and i told to find it and i get for him without any complains. Becos of a girl that said she likes you, it seems like whatever you said to mi you told her too. How am i feeling ? I don't share a boyf with anyone. Everything was about her. I thought last week nonsense about her stop, but it begin again. How many times to remove this obstacle, this threat you brought mi ? If everything was about her so perfect so good than mi, why not go after her ? Why times and times again you wanted this relationship back ? I simply have so much i wanna say to you how i felt. Id rather bottle up my feelings and never be said to you. How'd i bring myself to trust you again when you just could tell mi you're lonely and bored and head over her house to stay till tmr afternoon ? Wtf. Is there nothing else you could do ? I simply cannot understand why in the first place why tell mi everything about her.

I just felt a total JINX now. I don't feel like working but i've no choice. Can i stop tearing ? I just wanna be a normal person be happy. What's so hard ? Why must it be everything about you ? I just don't want her you to bring in to disrupt anything. Nor i want bring myself to hate and dislike any people. I simply wanna give you trust, i simply wasnt lazy but just very tired from work and all which you failed to understand. I simply appreciate though you're tired after book out you still come meet mi for dinner despite telling you its okay and all but you just make yourself like a fool. I didnt treated you like a fool, when i said i misses you i mean it so much. When you said words like that i wished it ain't real. I don't demand anything from you right from start. Why cant it just be simple without demands and all ? Why must you let others feel that loving you is the wrong choice in our life loving you is just so hard and all ? I wishes light will shine on you and mi.

Let mi run away this time and never returns. I don't know will i be regret with the decision i make but it hurts mi alot.

2010-01-15T03:35:00.002+08:00

Back once again ! Clock strikes 3.42am. I'm sneezing badly away. If sillyB. were to know that i havent sleep, he gonna nag ! Freaking hell. He's gonna be awake for his book in another 1.5 hour time. :/

Past days were alright. As normal, work and all. Over the weekends was good hang out night with staceykor&zy at changi airport and 85 market with w.w, jaslyn, stacK and zy. Over at stacK's crib for xbox games. Wee'oh'wee ! I won w.w in the fighting name. HAHAHAH. He call mi noob somemore. Laugh at your dumbness fool ! Teehee !

Tuesday was OFF day. SillyB went hospital check up for his hand. A small tiff with him yet that fellow pretend nothing siol. Nice one ! Met him for lunch at payalebar. Went cityplaza for his Arnold chicken. Okay, not bad though. And pissed mi off. Sillyb doubletap tap my iphone and idk why the screen went " wow freaking big in words and all ! " After meal went checkup my iphone. Damn, gotta restore everything. Jinx ! Sillyb went home as i rejected that smelly fool who spoilt my iphone in his army uni to come my house. Teehee ! Reached home i do a restore for my iphone. Let mi tell you more pissed off shit is i keep clicking on the wrong thing again and again, so in total it took 2.5 hours plus to restore everything. Argh ! Well, trained over to meet sillyB for dinner. Waited for that big FAT PIG for 2 plus hours becos he was dead asleep. Rang him 28 times he didn't pick up. :| Goodjob ! Hahaha. Thank god cousin came down accompany mi. Finally sillyB woke up and met and bused over to upperthomson for our yummy prata. Love ! Then hsm. Thank god my iphone was so okay ! If not .... HEHEHE !

Store came a new colleague. Err, BF and i name it as " illegal immigrant. " HAHAHAH. Well, please she make mi feel like kicking her piece of ass away right from my sight. Becos we've no common topics to talk about. Goodness ! Dont want emphasize further though. SillyB came dinner with mi. Thanks love ! :) Ahlim have a brain crack cells today. Seeking either a yes or no becomes being told a whole big pile of nonsense. It blown mi up ! F.t.t.m. Slacked with BF at marina there, usual slack out. Wonderful top secrets ! Hhahah. Then trained home. Funny jokes of superman flying hair ! HAHAHA.

Lately dreams were horrible ! :( The other night i dreamt my tooth drop out for some reasons. Told them they laughed like F ?! Told sillyB he laughed and ask is my tooth still intact ? F. !

Came by some stuffs and interesting lots to know. BABY.Yun, quick updates soon !

Gonna retreat to sleep and get up at 6.30ish to text sillyB and crap with him. Teehee ! Its gonna be a good day ahead. :) Goodnights world !

p/s : just wanna you to be there for dinner like everyday, just wanna the simple trust and move away the obstacles we faced together. Let history be bygones and never replay like once it was before. i.l.sB. xoxoxo.

2010-01-06T01:02:00.003+08:00

HOLA ! I'm back once again. Busy up & down. Life is in a stir days back. But i'm kinda back to a happy kid now. Let go of the unhappiness and move on ! :)

Last week, i'm officially 20 ! Spell it OLD ! :/ Well, at first things was so terrible out. But thank god met Yun'baby at buangkok and cabbed down to Town. Shopping fever. Collected her ring the FML ring after like finally then shop around FarEast and chiong over to 313 somerset becos of Forever'21 ! LOL. 4 storeys. Shop like crazy. Got 3 new dress ! :) Met Faiz, XJ & the unfriendly co outside 313 somerset. Headed over to Cine for out meal and all then chiong down to simpang meet stacey & Zy. Thanks all for being there & the lovely wishes ! :) Watched Sherlock Holmes on that day too. Rate : 4/5. TEEHEE !

A brand new year started. Time flies. I can't wait get to study soon. Probably join StaceyKor over at TMC academy. Still looking out. I've decided to take a break from work soon. I wanna have more time get out of this and more relax time with friends and all. And also for sillyB. Many things just occurred lately. But what's over is over. I want go for few holiday trips to getaway from stress.

Today is OFF day. Slept till pretty late. Down to house nearby cut fringe. Still okay. Lunched then fetch sillyB at his camp. Troubles at first for certain matters to save him out but after some attempts manage to solve it together. Great. Just hope tmr he back to camp it's gonna be okay. If not i'm gonna be his mama again. Down to bugis for dinner and all afterwhich he'd done with his bathing. Lots of nonsense. Homed after that.

And happy 56th birthday to my DADDY ! :DD

Well i don't know what the days ahead gonna be like. Just hope that things ain't that back to 2009. Everything happen for a reason. And it's gonna be good ahead. What's past is past. :)

And to Yun'Baby, Cheer up alright. I wanna see the KP girl in you soon. We've got more to catch up ! And remb shop till die, eat your pasta till die. HAHAHA ! Imy. Back to school tmr, mug hard. :D Iloveyou ! :) Thanks for always be there for mi. Teehee ! Will be there for you always. :)

And StaceyK, thanks so much lately for the awesome listening ear. More chippysausage with double added mashedpotato eat till i die too. Ha ! :) Simpang again or chiong to airport ! :)

Morning shift tmr ! Shag seriously. Tired from working. :/ Goodnights world ! :)

2009-12-27T02:51:00.003+08:00

Now the clock ticks 3am. I should have been at PH with the cliques to pre-celebrate my bday rather than rotting at home staring at this com looking and browsing through and came upon photos of o'love. Well, i believe people change over time. But things i saw will always remind mi of the past we did things together and the things we bought. Some reminsince though.

Seriously today is a SUCK THUMP UP day ! Back to work, thought it'd be fine perhaps. Nags filled the air. All those tiny stuffs also seems our fault, what's the point of nagging so much on the phone ? You could find it back who stolen their products ? Suck my thumb can ! This and that this and that. BABY & i conclude boss lately " CHUI " can ! Wtf. And i really hated this shit, stock inventory ! SPELL IT F.YOU ! :| He come menses siol. Mood swing here and there. Think of it makes my blood boils.

BF is on MC for 2 days, i want it too ! :| Mood lately seems bad though. No mood for anything. When could this stop ? When could all this insult let mi stop at ? I felt like giving up, building more faith inside to get you over my life. I seriously can't take it anymore. This is hell absurb. A person accusing you night life and all, seriously this is cock shit. In the first place, why do you want be together when things had already turn sour ? I need a break to run away as far as i could from all this hell nonsense. Claiming own is right, pretending nothing had happen, i can't. This is reality and the fact. I want a terrible getaway from you and lots of things.

People come and go our life. Some ought to hold it there and never let go, just like good friends that worth to keep this going on till death. Upon walking home, stare at the cross that is changing its colours, i sense of god's sound, telling mi "dear child, be home soon. " Perhaps i've been away from the house of lord for a long time. I need more mercy to add in this heart to make it graceful enough. I'm seriously mentally breakdown and tired.

The worst part of life is waiting. The best part of life is someone who worth waiting for.

Time to sleep, morning shift to go ! Nights world ! :)

2009-12-26T00:12:00.003+08:00

It's been a month plus i last updated. Weeks by weeks been so busy upside down. The moment got home spell it T-I-R-E-D. Work have screwed up all this tiredness inside. Things just go haywired, up or down.

Past weeks was steamboat, movies or work. Nothing much though. Watched a few new release movies lately. Not bad i'd say. And lately work till 11 plus. So tiring ! :/ Seriously ahlim really fuck up. No emphasizing though. Yester was Xmas eve. Went steamboat with Bf and Jas mama after a tired day at work. No mood for steamboat. Slacked and then HSM.

Photos of past outings all up in FB, check it out there.

Today is Xmas day ! I felt a total shit. Perhaps every year is just so different. Perhaps all i want is back to still him. Idk. A total jinx today. Well, let it slide by. Don't wanna talk about it anymore. A new year is beginning soon, time indeed flies by fast. I miss the old good days with many of them. I wish i never grow up and time machine could bring us back. Mood really make it sucky enough that i'm no longer enthu to spend anything with you.

Deep down, i know who i badly wanted. But can i have him back to feel back the o'times ? Not now. Perhaps he can be the one who understand mi better. Time time time. How long more we could speak again ?

Tine is needed once again to heal this heart. Lord jesus the warmth hand i'd only hold onto and walk with.

Back to work again tmr ! 6 more days to a brand new year with a new kick start.

Goodnights world ! :)

2009-11-14T12:44:00.003+08:00

Down with a bad flu since wednesday. F.T.T.M. It's not recovered yet. It make mi feel hard to sneeze sneeze sneeze or smell smell smell. LOL. Past days were boring !

Thursday -

Work work work ! After work was sushi with BF. Damn sway i kept dropping things this and that. :/ After sushi, trained and bus-ed home. I was being physo-ed thru texts to club. LOL.

Friday -

Woke up early. Met Chris for lunch. Droved over to dempsey road for korean cuisine. Rated 5 stars ! People go try it out there. Damn nice and tai tai feeling. LOL. The charcoal grill beef is nice and the seafood tofu kimchi soup is nice but can't ate much becos of my blocked nose. :| Then over to Taka. Weee, i bought a book from kinokuniya - Have a little faith. Book after tuesday with morries. Thumbs up ! It's a nice story. I still haven't read the new book yet. Hahaha. Afterwhich went over to Ion orchard. Longchamp store ! :) Can't resist it, i bought my navy blue bag. So many nice colours and designs but can't really decide which and which. LOL. Then back to taka to see Longchamp bag got other designs. Fuck can, i keep can't resist whether to get the black limited one instead. In my mind i was thinking, should i get 2nd one ? TEEHEE !

The black one - ( still leaving mi tempting to want it ! )

Still thinking becos this material is likely to be abit different and it's limited. Wanted it for quite some time but it run out of stock and it's back again ! Omg ! :/

In the end i bought the other design with the medal one. HAPPY ! :) Both is limited edt ! :)

Headed next to FEP after my longchamp madness. Teehee ! Bought 1 military vest and 2 new clothes ! HAPPY ! :) Then went to collect my favourite ring and bought another blue big diamond ring ! :)) Get shilin chicken for BF and sausage&mashed potato for myself and cabbed over to work. Okay i was late despite the rush. :/ The nags went on and on. CB ! :| Work was alil boring till more and more crowds came in. About to closing, BF call and went downstairs to Cotton On met her and Daph and Char. Shop ! TEEHEE. Bought a black tank dress ! :) Then back to work. LOL. Not to forget, sis came by visited. :) After work, met up with Bf & co. again. Slacked at Starbucks ! Then till about to 12, walked over to Raffles city. About to head home, changed of mind and cabbed over to Mustafa. All of us seems to be in dilenma to get or not the perfumes. :/ I still wanting to get the Guess gold perfume. :| And we got all the same shampoo ! HAHAHA. Then collect our stuffs and went prata-ing ! :) Headed home next. Tired t.t.m.

Oh ya, not to forget yester it's friday the 13th. Supposed to be said it's not a good day but it went well. And it was World Kindness Day too ! Got a sunflower flower from our boxP. HAPPY ! :) BF got it too. WEEEEEE ! :DDD

At first i thought to myself last night i kept looking at the flower i thought it'll just stay like that, the petals don't seems to open up. And it looks like it's dying. Omg. But to my amazement this morning, it was so damn beautiful. The petals open up ! :)

:DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

Today it's saturday ! Bet it's gonna be a goodnight. TEEHEE ! :)

Silly can't book out today got confine. Nag about the longchamps bag. :/ Mummy told a news that her operation was brought forward to Dec 2nd. It's so fast. She's panicking. But i really hope everything went fine fine fine ! :) And i'm still sneezing away like WTF ?! Aww, i really hate it ! :/ Working still later, spell it s-h-a-g !

Okay gotta go ! Bye world ! :]

2009-11-10T23:49:00.003+08:00

Back to ramble.

Last saturday -

Late evening headed out get dinner for mummy and then headed off to meet silly. Went causeway.p for dinner and shop for his army stuffs. And dined at delifrance and catch a movie. Silly had seafood rice while i had baked lasagne. Got a tempting to eat lasagne lately. Depicts it why. Lol. Can't decide which movie to watch. So we chose the Poker king.

Rated 4/5 bah. Quite funny. It lasted for 2 hours plus. Nice watching it ! 2nd movie and more to come. :) Silly trained home while i headed to Yishun met up with BF and daphnie to slack. Catched another movie again at GV. Saw an exciting scenario. Indians fighting. Damn gross. Don't understand why they just keeping aiming at the head. WTH. We watched Jennifer's body.

Well a lil gross too. And scared abit out of wits. Teehee ! But nice to watch. After which walked over to Mac to slack. Till 3 plus can't tahan so cabbed home. Spell it s-w-a-y can ! Used Nets to pay, tried 2 times the uncle's machine keep states that it's unapproved. How could that be and WTF ?! And uncle said earlier on another passenger got the same problem too. So i asked if he could drive mi to my house nearest to the ATM machine. He agreed and said doesn't want charge mi any meter cents. Cool ! Know what, fuck my life that night. The machine is out of service. WTF !? So another machine in another place came my mind. And seriously i don't know why the hell 4 machines i went it's out of service. WTFFFFFFF ! In the end, finally got one save my night. LOL. Meanwhile bought food for that friendly taxi uncle for his nice help when he don't even want charge mi any meter money. Nice and kind ! :) Home sweet home. :) Upon reaching home, vomitted and stomach still ain't feeling well. Suck up though.

Sunday -

Woke up in the late afternoon. MC day. Silly initiated for lunch. So reached yet waitied for that fellow for 1.5hours. While waiting felt like a moron went to the arcade to play shoot bballs. He's full of nonsense mocking at mi playing arcade. :/ Bought a fucking oreo shake for 3.20bucks. Insane ! Had Astons for lunch. Had baked potato and onion rings too. Silly had that gross beef which is rare but don't look rare. Yucks. Teehee. That silly went home packed his things and met up again and accompany him to pasir ris. Stupid, he was almost late for his book in. Ask him take a cab, keep telling mi rubbish believe believe that he can make it. Funny to the max. Next headed over to Bedok since so bored to head home early. Met Kor awhile. Then he went off to book in too. Walked around Bedok area. Remind back those schooling days after school will head there with friends. :) Buy dinner home. Bus-ed home.

Monday -

Back to work. Full shift. Shag ! :/ So many things to do and to be complete. Cb, ah jim kept disturbing say i ' lao sai ! ' WTF ! Nasty conclusions. Fuck the fakeshit siol. And till that day then i know mr.obama coming s'pore. Am i so dumb ? LOL. Asked silly about it and he said i dumb dumb. WTF ?! Ahjim lame with mi saying mr.obama texted him saying he'll be coming to buy the obama notes. Eh, seriously lame to the f. :|

Tuesday -

OFF day ! :) Life is bored today. Went out bought lunch for mummy and myself. Kinda bothered about mummy's operation being posted from early jan 2010 to this month nov 23. She's kinda not very happy it's gonna be so soon. She rather hope it'll be around first week of dec. Weird can. Well, early afternoon received another call. Don't even know am i happy or even no feel. I don't know am i capable and up to it to be trained to enter this industry. Told silly, yet he's full of junk craps. :/ Ohwell, he's bored. Maybe i should take up the challenge and try it out. Though was told there'll be unexpected complicated issues may pop up anytime, but i'm being warned for the consequences before. Perhaps no harm trying i guess. Whole afternoon was so bored. Kept staring at the TV. Till late evening i finally get out of the house. Met with Stacey Kor and went Jurong point for dinner and walked about. Dine-ed at ajisen and don't know what boketiju resturant. Cha-su ramen, white fish, bento set, teppan potato&sausage. Thumbs up ! Very filling to the max. Walked around. Undecisive to get the Bonia bag. Still thinking of it now. :/ Bought Marcarons from Bakerzin. It's only 1bucks each. Bought 6 of it. Teehee. And ichiban cheesecake for sis and famous cookies and durian crepes for parents. :) Happy ! Stacey kor went back book in while i took bus 154 home. Long long bus journey.

So tired still lately. Misses silly. Still gotta rush up emails. Shag ! ;/

Bye and goodnights world ! :]

2009-11-07T15:29:00.002+08:00

Had been busy lately. Back to ramble.

Wednesday -

Full shift. Work is fine just alil bored. Betty came find us so betty, lucy and nancy go makansuntra eat. Carrot cake ! :) Kinda sinful day. Ate alot. Mac oreo mcflurry too. Thumbs up ! Bus-ed home with Betty. F. lame. Got few ah bengs sitting behind was playing techno.

And i asked Betty :

Nancy - Techno siol ! Now is trance liao lah, who listen to techno. But also like not bad.

Betty - Their style what. But trance better.

Nancy - Na Na Na Na ....

Betty - FuckYou.

Keep being lame about the techno part. LOL. Betty changed bus. A moment later she texted said Ahbengs same bus with her. Seriously BETTY, your texts really make mi felt so funny. xoxoxo.

Thursday -

As usual worked. I felt gross when it's about to closing. Currently in store there's a boxp who's selling sex toys stuffs. Wtf. A don't know how to describe customer walked in and he seek for help. Okay is i tio. My BF didn't saw him. I don't dare serve this siol. Fucking embarrassing. HAHAHA. What a day alright. :/

Friday -

Woke up in the damn early morning. Don't know for what but just can't sleep back. So nua-ed and nua-ed till 9 plus went to bathe and went to consult a doc. My stomach was badly in pain and vomitted the other night. Waited to see a doctor for 2 hours. WTF ! MC for 2 days. Headed over to Novena met up with BF. Then headed over to bugis village see see look look. Cheap cheap siol. BF headed to work while i headed home. Met silly at evening. Waited for him book out. Waited so longggg. Nice knowing one new friend while sitting at the staircase. I thought she was crying so i offered her sweet and tissues. She's nice to talk to ! :) Trained to swb. He went home bathe and changed then waited for him at coffeebean then dinner.

Saturday -

Still on MC. Betty Baby not going club tonight last minute. Ongs family also. So does i, feeling tired. BF going still. I don't know am i still tempted to go. See how later. Received a call from mummy in the early afternoon. She's in second stage of her tumour. Only can wait till next year early Jan then can go for operation. Hope lord will walk with her. I believe she gotta be fine. :) So shag now. So bored too !

Okay, bye world ! :]

2009-11-04T01:58:00.003+08:00

It's been some days i've been away. Truck loads of stuffs happen for some reasons. But still, it's manage to be cope well.

Last friday -

Ended work early. Headed over to Town to look for " SUPER " ring. F.t.t.m. It's out of stock gotta wait for the next shipment. :/ Next, bused to Upper Bukit Timah to Highoark Condo. Met up with Yvnette. It's indeed a long bus journey. Hurray, and my blogshop is moving finally. Lately it's rainy day. :| Bus-ed home after that. Another long bus journey that chanced by old memories. It felt so sweet back days. Teehee.

Saturday -

Early morning awoken by calls and texts. 31oct 9plusam. It changes my mood therefore. Things were explained out. Perhaps it happen for a reason. Drop that though. I ought to forgive what is supposed to. :) Headed work in the afternoon. After work changed and met up with the biatches for halloween ! :DD Cabbed over as usual to PH. Lockers were full over at PH so went over to Dragonfly instead. And there came Ke&co. and Junie&co. Okay, everyone dressed up in their own themes. WEE-OH-WEE ! Geeks were among that night. Drawing of freckles, bloody appearance. FUN TO THE MAX. But somehow few of us seems moody becos it's crowded, hot and hungry. LOL. After club, chill awhile and HSM. Anyway, let the photos do the talking. :)

More of the photos are in FACEBOOK. Check it out over there ! :)

Sunday -

Slept for few hours. Felt like a zombie at work though. Lol. Dinner with BF at Foodrepublic. It's been long we went there to have our dinner though. Korean cuisine ! :) Home sweet home after work.

Monday -

A hectic monday with lots of work to be done. Spell it s-h-a-g ! :/ Well, a whole full day to complete it. Tired to the max. After work, headed over to Mustafa get some stuffs. Felt so giddy abit while looking for some stuffs. Bought prata home. Teehee. I was being asked by a black man to a hotel. WTF, he's insane though. Quickly board the cab and run away. HAHAHA.

Tuesday -

OFF day ! :) Slept and slept till i felt shiok and awake. Lunched with sister at our favourite curry rice stall. Rain came pouring down though. Back home, changed and went out. Went to serangoon to do something to my hair. Damn, my buttock hurts sitting on that chair for 3 hours i guess. Hair treatment and all. Troublesome. And fuck that, my fringe is fucking ugly i guess. Omg ! I felt damn PS. :/ Next headed over to simlimsquare check out something important. Funny negotiating with that fellow. Lol. Next to OG see things. That ... is cute. Wee-oh-wee ! Teehee. Then walked a long way to Mustafa. Ownself sight-seeing. :) Not that scary. Hahaha. Fuck siol, today got 2 people said i look like malaysian. WTF, after this bloody hair screwed mi out. I also don't know i like anot. LOL. Hsm.

If everything long ago you said it clearly, it won't drag for so long. Least you put out courage and explain, i accepted it and forgive you. Hoping that this is the last and all nonsense though. Beautiful days ahead to be seen.

Tired t.t.m. But still need to rush up abit emails. Damn it !

Okay bye and nights world ! :]

2009-10-29T01:14:00.003+08:00

It's way damn tiring day. Slept in the early morning 6am. Niceeee ! Okay, i'm finally done with 1k plus emails. Ka-ching ka-ching ! :) Work is shagggggggg. Sians t.t.m. About to leave house for work, rain came pouring down. Took cab with brother. Fuck t.t.m. I forgot bring extra cash out. In the end i still need to pay abit the fare. Chey, i thought my brother will be using credit card again. Okay i'm like dreaminggggg. :/ It's just down on luck today. I'm such a dumbie. I broke the fortune cat in store. There goes the 30 bucks. Okay, take it as charity. My heart is aching. Shouting WTF ?! Drop the smaller one would be better cos it's cheaper. But i drop the medium sizeee one can. Screwedddddddddd it ! :| Oh well, let it be let it be.

Had a great chat session with T. Funnyyy to the core. Talking about the lomo cameras and polariod cameras and some stupid stuffs. WTH, she got it before at 50 plussss bucks. I can't find a good deal at all. :/ I want polariod camera so badly. Well, was too engrossed on gmarket looking at stuffs. Shiokkkk ! I want that accessories. Not that exp but cheap and nice. Okay, no impulsive buying. But but but i'm looking at that 3 eyed and 4 eyed lomo camera. 20 + bucks only. Anyone want buy i can orderrrr. It takes 3 - 5 days to arrive. Seriously it's damn tempting. The shots are niceee. TEEHEE ! :DDD I think i can't get to sleep again. Another thought gonna fill my mind later. Hahaha.

Still gotta wake up early tmrrrr. I was given a week to head down and retrieve it yet i felt like i'm so busy siol. Or even lazy to head town and collect it. Today called in, they said one last day to give mi is tmr. Or either by courier. But nobody at home, who's gonna collect and signed it. What a troublesome shit ! Still need to go over FEP. I remb it's been 2 to 3 weeks already my ' Super ' ring is spoiled. I never mention it went clubbing i dropped my ring and don't know which big fat leg stepped on it, there goes my ring. My favvvvvv siol ! Oh well, hope i could be able to hunt that shop tmr ! I'll die without that of my favourite ring. LOL.

Another week went by. Misses still on and off. Replaying back and back. Nice and all. There's still a long way for it to heal. Believe in faith. :)

Nights world ! :]

* Heys Fellows, i'm still looking for people to help out an event on 4dec. Quick text or call mi. Easy & Good money ! I need 3 peopleeeeee. Damn relaxing and fun. :DDD

- Angel, i'll ring you ASAP. I kept forgetting to text you Sorry babe. :)

2009-10-28T01:45:00.002+08:00

Got out of the house finally at 8pm. Reluctant to get out though but it's promised. Bus-ed down to the court. Aww, was pretty lazy to play. Moreover just shoot balls. Sians t.t.m. Something happened so delayed walking over for dinner. A while later it's fine. :) Walked over to geylang for MC western food. Thumbs up ! It's been so long we ate it. TEEHEE ! :) Jess still wanted to drink the soya milk when we're already so damn full t.t.m ! Omgf. HAHAHA. Bus-ed home. HSM. Am very tired and lazy. But i can't get to sleep yet without completing and submitting the 1000emails. SHAG ! :/ I gotta buck up more and moreeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.

Hey fellows, here a short clip to laugh your ass off. TEEHEE ! :D

The indian verson of twinkle twinkle little star -

When misses grewing stronger bit by bit, i told myself relax and let go. Time is still needed to forgive your absurb acts.

Nights world ! :]

2009-10-27T16:39:00.002+08:00

Had an awesome long sleep ! :) Slept at 4 plus in the morning but just awoken not long ago. I don't understand why lately tuesday there's always people knocking at my house door. Damn pissed off when you're asleep so soundly and this person came knocking. First is my bro's gf, okay i say it's okay. Secondly there came the few man don't know gotta install what thing in my house. Daddy told mi last night but i really got no idea wtf is that. So early afternoon it was like on & off sleep. Lasted till 4pm i get out of bed. Becos i told myself i need to stop thinking. And get back to finish up my emails. I want KA-CHING KA-CHING ! Cheque isn't in yet. WTFFFF ! Last night i thought i lost my SubCrew cap. Freak mi out ttm. Woke up immediately just now and hunt for it. Thank god for mi being silly. LOL.

Okay i shall stop rambling on. Gotta get back to work. Bball with the co. later ! :) Bye world.

I need to find 3 people to help out at an event on 4 dec. GAME STALLS. ANYONEEEEE ?! Easy and good money. It only lasted for less than 2 hours i guess. Let mi know, text or ring mi ! CHEERS.

2009-10-27T01:10:00.003+08:00

It's a monday without blues but tiredness dwells in. Woke up in the early morning and dragged myself out of the bed to work. Waited for brother to be done as i physco-ed him cab to work together. Becos it's a free ride since he's using credit card to pay. xoxoxo. Smart ! :)

As usual monday work to be done. Really damn sians. Had a bad craving for fries today and i ate it. Ended work last minute headed over to bugis met up with BABY and kirbie the dog. LOL. So confused what to wear for halloween night. I wanna get that few pairs of shoes and that geek. I'm still thinking for my theme - bloody geeky biatch ?! LOL. Aiya, so damn confusing and not that enthu. Unexplainable. Finally tmr is OFF day. I can to sleep. There goes sentosa tanning as BABY inconvenient. Hahahaha. My mind is stirring and stirring. What should i decide tmr ? Still considering before texting my answer to BABY.

Town ? ( like sians can ? )

Chinatown ? ( idk siol, can see my stuffs to make accessories and all but lazy ?! ),

tanning alone ( i felt laziness dwelling inside already. ),

basketball initally at Hougang tmr that turns mi off yet last min changes to aljunied. ( make mi half enthu half not enthu. )

Okay this is so fickled-minded to the extent. I need to make a decision soon ! :/

Is there something that i felt that there's a pull pulling mi making feel that holding back something. But i just don't know is that him. Came by the text again and it suddenly gave mi this confidence to wait for him. But i know this is insane that i couldn't wait. Why must there even be misses for someone not even worthy to love ? I misses him here and there. Hoping each day getting online, using wifi would i see a miracle. An email, a text from him, a call from him. I'm the one to come to a final decision to part it, but why am i feeling this manner ? Lord, bring mi away from all this. Night by night, i couldn't sleep well. Eyes closed, it replays of you till i fallen alseep. I can't imagine what ya doing over there in Europe. Perhaps fucking out with a eurp chick, found a new love among your mate and all. In my heart i know so well what am i feeling ahead and all. But but but what's this. I felt that i'm just hating 2 fellows, thinking and seeing the picture make mi feel like giving 2 tight slaps. I'm taught not to curse but bless, not to develop hatred but love them. Listening to father's lovely song, can i kneel before you lord and repent my sins once and all ? O'lord, bring mi away from all this, hold my hand and bring mi to the wiser road and heal mi. Jesus, be the centre, be my soul, be my heart, be my hope.

I just don't feel good lately. Someone slap mi hard right on my face and let mi awake for once. Looking upon the stars while walking home, reminds mi the bench story with oldlove and the high level of wind breeze with the unworthy one.

Okay, i shall stop thinking here and get back to rush up my emails ! Nights world !

2009-10-25T23:40:00.002+08:00

Back home early today. Work is tired. Morning shift. :/ Not enough sleep not enough sleep. :| Ended work early and nua-ed awhile and headed home. Called for delivery. Damn turn off my mood to eat dinner. Waited first time ever for an hour than there came the delivery. Seriously no mood to eat already. Felt so tired, as in mentally tired. I don't understand why such absurb people kept appearing. Making lots of bo liao shits and everything. Whatever it is, don't wanna emphasize much. Just out to work, why create such childish piece of shit ?! Waste my time to even know this matter. LOL.

There goes monday tmr ! And full shift to go. SPELL IT S-I-A-N t.t.m ! :| Today there's many thoughts in my mind. Damn, i felt like trying my luck out at the N.I.E application siol. I wanna be teacher ! LOL. PE teacher sounds so scary to mi all thanks to BF comment eeyeerr big muscles later. :/ Okay, maybe language teacher ?! I've so much things in mind i wanna doooooo siol ! And haven't even go sign up for my wakeboarding course. And my car license ?! Shit, i've flew bestie on aeroplane. Aww ! Okay, there's just so much things to occupy my braincells.

Merely 10 days passed. Today misses were a lil bit stronger. Idk why. Knowing it's not worth it, but why is all this scenarios kept replaying and replaying ? I wonder what's wrong. I can't imagine myself would i even speak to you again. Just to much why and what and how in my brain. Okay, screwed all this up. Quickly let monday oveerrrrr ! I wanna sleeep long long long. I must stop thinking, or else at night my dream appears to be him. Damn jinx !

Okay off to rush up my work again. Goodnights fellows ! :]

2009-10-25T02:16:00.002+08:00

SHAG ! I'm like so lazy to rush up that email by just retyping into the email and send it. But i've got 700 on hand. And i'm like thinking it's time to sleep it's time to sleep. Tmr morning shift, scared wake up late. And here i am multi tasking, TV, FB, blogging, checking out some stuffs. LOL.

Work is fine today. Just abit sians and body felt so tired and like don't wanna work ! :/ After work, met up with SCANDAL ! LOL. We went arcade shoot basketball. Like pro siol ! 2 bucks token ! :) My first dollar was like so lousy. 2nd buck i wanna shoot again. Felt SHIOK ! Score 527 POINTS ! I OWE YOU BABY ! LOL. This is like so DOTA TALKS. HAHAHA. Then sat at fountain without water have a great awesome chat up. Nice ! :D Then bus-ed home. All those bitchy talks. LOVES ! I'm a good girl tonight that heads home and watch TV and sleep. Yet that moron in EUROPE right now always have that image i'm such a screwed up biatch. Okay shit, why am i talking about some unworthy people.

Tmr is sunday ! Will R turn up in the morning again ? xoxoxo. And i can't wait for halloween. I can't wait to travel ! I want a getaway to anywhereeeeeeeeee would be fine. As long as i step out of this island. It seems so longgggggg ago i last travelled ! :|

Okay off to think what should i do now. Goodnights world ! :]

2009-10-24T12:54:00.003+08:00

Work is tiring t.t.m lately. Ain't having enough sleep too due to at night rushing up some emails work. 5000 emails ! :/ Wednesday worked with BF. We felt like we were some deity. Not eating a single proper meal for the whole day but merely on junks ! Not even going to the toilet. Lol. Thanks to the big carton of stocks arrived. And idk why am i taking half of the day to complete it. Jinx ! Well, after work headed over to Makansuntra for our nice meals. Hokkien mee, mee soto, fried carrot cake. Damn full ! On the way home we had some disgusting chats. HAHAHA. As usual thurs and friday is still work again. Yester was super over-tired. But still worked OT till closing which equals to full-shift. Shag ! Work was okay and pissing off abit yester. Another fellow gone. Bet another new will come.

Halloween is on next saturday ! I don't even know do i have the mood for it first. I need my cheque to come in quick. :/ And SORRY BABY, supposed to head town with you yester. SORRY ! :)

It's only a week gone. And i'm only half way thoughts there. This heart should stop beating for you. Vanish soon please O'lord !

Okay, i'm going to rush up my work. Shag, working later. Hope it's a good day ahead ! :]